9 Ways To Hide That You're Not Drinking (Because You're Pregnant)

Picture this: You're in the early stages of your pregnancy and you get invited to Happy Hour, a party, or even just out to dinner. If you're the life of the party, ordering a club soda is a no-go. If you're a normal drinker, not drinking will be a dead giveaway to your nearest and dearest. Even though it's a pain to hide that you're not drinking because you're pregnant, it's absolutely doable. Rather than getting caught without a plan, sweating bullets, and stammering while you search for an excuse? Prepare for it.

If you know you're going to find yourself in a situation where the drinks will be flowing and you'll be on the spot, you'll need a few escape strategies to employ if you're going to pull the wool over the eyes of all your favorite people. So rather than word-vomiting a weak excuse to your mother-in-law as she pours you a glass of wine, arm yourself with a handful of tactics. Practice your explanation. Because even though it's a lie, it's a white-lie, and your pregnancy is your business. You should be able to tell your friends and family about it when you feel you're ready. So stock up on your excuses, and get ready to fool your friends in honor of your privacy.


The Mocktail

Talk to your bartender or waiter, and get them in on the ruse. Explain that you'll be ordering cocktails all night, but that you want them without alcohol. Rum and Coke? So easy to hide. Chances are good that your bartender's made a few virgin cocktails in their day, and they'd be more than happy to help you keep your secret.


The Cleanse

Tell your friends you're on a cleanse. This can keep you in the clear for a few weeks.


The Dump Out

Accept the drink, whether it's a beer, a cocktail, or a glass of wine, and hit the bathroom every 20 minutes to dump about a third of the glass out. This works best at dinner parties. And when you're pregnant, you'll probably have to hit the bathroom every 20 minutes anyway.


The BYO(Non-Alcoholic)B Move

Heading to a dinner party? Bring your own bottle of wine, and bring a decanter with you. Some non-alcoholic wines and beers are so good that your friends won't even be able to tell the difference.


The Early Bird

Hitting Happy Hour with the girls? Get to the bar early so you can order a faux-drink before anyone's got eyes on you. Now's a good time to strike a deal with your bartender, too.


The Faux Sip

If someone buys you a drink, you don't necessarily need to send it back. Just raise the glass to your lips, and don't take a sip. Rinse, lather, repeat.


The Medication Trick

Ah, yes, the age old, "I'm on medication that reacts poorly with alcohol" trick. Antibiotics, pain killers, pick a fake malady and roll with it. Just make it believable.


The Hangover Plan

Tell everyone you're hungover. This is good for a quick fix, but won't work more than once or twice, so use this excuse wisely.


The Calorie Intake Excuse

Though this excuse generally gets the most groans from your friends, but telling everyone that you're counting calories and would rather have an order of french fries than a cocktail? Totally acceptable, and also, totally delicious.