9 Ways To Hide That You're Not Drinking (Because You're Pregnant)

By
Share
Ad failed to load

Picture this: You're in the early stages of your pregnancy and you get invited to Happy Hour, a party, or even just out to dinner. If you're the life of the party, ordering a club soda is a no-go. If you're a normal drinker, not drinking will be a dead giveaway to your nearest and dearest. Even though it's a pain to hide that you're not drinking because you're pregnant, it's absolutely doable. Rather than getting caught without a plan, sweating bullets, and stammering while you search for an excuse? Prepare for it.

If you know you're going to find yourself in a situation where the drinks will be flowing and you'll be on the spot, you'll need a few escape strategies to employ if you're going to pull the wool over the eyes of all your favorite people. So rather than word-vomiting a weak excuse to your mother-in-law as she pours you a glass of wine, arm yourself with a handful of tactics. Practice your explanation. Because even though it's a lie, it's a white-lie, and your pregnancy is your business. You should be able to tell your friends and family about it when you feel you're ready. So stock up on your excuses, and get ready to fool your friends in honor of your privacy.

Ad failed to load

1The Mocktail

Giphy

Talk to your bartender or waiter, and get them in on the ruse. Explain that you'll be ordering cocktails all night, but that you want them without alcohol. Rum and Coke? So easy to hide. Chances are good that your bartender's made a few virgin cocktails in their day, and they'd be more than happy to help you keep your secret.

2The Cleanse

Giphy

Tell your friends you're on a cleanse. This can keep you in the clear for a few weeks.

3The Dump Out

Giphy

Accept the drink, whether it's a beer, a cocktail, or a glass of wine, and hit the bathroom every 20 minutes to dump about a third of the glass out. This works best at dinner parties. And when you're pregnant, you'll probably have to hit the bathroom every 20 minutes anyway.

Ad failed to load

4The BYO(Non-Alcoholic)B Move

Giphy

Heading to a dinner party? Bring your own bottle of wine, and bring a decanter with you. Some non-alcoholic wines and beers are so good that your friends won't even be able to tell the difference.

5The Early Bird

Giphy

Hitting Happy Hour with the girls? Get to the bar early so you can order a faux-drink before anyone's got eyes on you. Now's a good time to strike a deal with your bartender, too.

6The Faux Sip

Giphy

If someone buys you a drink, you don't necessarily need to send it back. Just raise the glass to your lips, and don't take a sip. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Ad failed to load

7The Medication Trick

Giphy

Ah, yes, the age old, "I'm on medication that reacts poorly with alcohol" trick. Antibiotics, pain killers, pick a fake malady and roll with it. Just make it believable.

8The Hangover Plan

Giphy

Tell everyone you're hungover. This is good for a quick fix, but won't work more than once or twice, so use this excuse wisely.

9The Calorie Intake Excuse

Giphy

Though this excuse generally gets the most groans from your friends, but telling everyone that you're counting calories and would rather have an order of french fries than a cocktail? Totally acceptable, and also, totally delicious.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

The Entire Family Can Enjoy These Movies & Shows Coming To Netflix In June

It's just one of those sad facts of life: every month, shows and movies vanish from Netflix, their varied excitements no longer at your fingertips. But luckily the streaming service is always prepared to fill that content void with lots of new things…
By Megan Walsh

The Reason Why Babies Smile At You Will Seriously Make You Smile

Whether you're currently the recipient of your own baby's sweet smiles or you just seem to be a magnet for baby grins in general, you might find yourself wondering why babies are always smiling at you. Sure, you could be a 'smile whisperer' but scien…
By Kate Miller

8 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say That, Yes, You Are Their Favorite

For a baby to show a preference for a specific person is not only normal, but an essential part of their development. Babies need to form strong attachments to their caregivers for their emotional, social, and physical wellbeing. Usually, but not alw…
By Kimmie Fink

10 Reasons Why I Won't Apologize For Giving My Toddler A Pacifier

My first child had no interest in a pacifier. I tried a couple times to get him to take one, but he always spat them out and gave me an incredulous, judgmental look. But my second? It was love at first suckle. And after a while, the incredulous, judg…
By Jamie Kenney

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills
)}