Experiencing up and downs are part of being in a relationship. After the initial sparks-filled meeting comes the honeymoon phase, in which your partner can do no wrong. After some time passes reality sets in, and you start to see how your SO leaving all the kitchen cabinets open isn't so cute after all. But you're willing to forgive these small annoyances because things are still hot between the sheets. Until it's not. This is just one of the many ways to know you and you're partner are in a sex funk.
But don't worry. This is just one of those phases every couple goes through — not necessarily the new normal.
If things have been slower in the bedroom lately, it could just be that you have reached a point in your relationship when you need to revisit what it is that makes you both turned on. According to Psychology Today, sexual compatibility is linked to satisfaction. Meaning, if you and your partner have stopped communicating about what gets your motor running, then it's highly possible that your sexual pleasure and satisfaction can take a trip to boring town. And what's that point of getting busy if it doesn't meet both you and your partner's needs?
If you're not sure whether you and your partner are in a funk or have simply lost that loving feeling, these signs of being in a sexual funk may offer some insight.
1. You Work Too Much
Working long, late hours can wear you out and leave you little time and energy to connect sexually with your partner. If you've noticed a pattern of more sleeping than booty action, try to squeeze in some lovin' before work, on a long lunch break, or on the weekends.
2. You Don't Feel Sexy
Being sexually attractive to your partner is the axis around which a healthy sex life and relationship spin. As Psychology Today explained, attraction is key to relationship success. Feeling that special connection is what makes you want to rip your clothes off and get down to business. Once that feeling begins to suffer, it can effect the whole relationship.
3. You Yawn During Foreplay
Caught your brain wandering down chore list while making out? You might be feeling disconnected from your partner or just bored with the same ole thing. Suggest trying some different positions or having sex in a different room to mix things up and see if you get your mojo back.
4. You Spend More Time With Netflix
These days, we bring more electronic devices to the bed than sex toys. All this entertainment can put a damper on your sex life, according to Health. Having too many distractions in your bedroom can make you forget one of the greatest thing a bed can be used for: having sex.
5. You Feel Like Things Are Forced
Sometimes life gets in the way, and you need to schedule time for sex. But when your phone is the only thing sending you reminders to get busy, it's time to tap back into your spontaneous nature. Sex needs to feel fun and much as it feels good, and having a set day and time can make it feel forced and stale.
6. You Feel Paranoid
When the scene in the bedroom goes from hot and heavy to few and far between, you may start to wonder why this shift took place. According to Prevention, lack of sex can cause paranoia, insecurities, and lowered self-esteem to kick in. Which is one more reason it's so important to keep those lines of communication open.
7. You're Not Communicating
If you can't talk about sex with your partner, it's hard for both of you to be satisfied. As Healthline pointed out, communicating about sex is important because it will increase your sexual pleasure. Your partner has to know what turns you on and off in order to make you feel good. What better reason to start gabbing?
8. You Put Sex At The Bottom Of Your Priority List
Everyone has the exact same 24 hours in their day, and setting priorities about how you spend that time happens whether you're aware of it or not. If you've noticed all the other parts of your life have edged out sex and moved it to the bottom of the list, it's time to reevaluate and make some changes.
9. You Bring Tension Into The Bedroom
As psychologist Bob Berkowitz told Health, relationship problems play out in the bedroom. This means unresolved conflicts and hurt feelings can carry over into your sex life. Berkowitz recommends talking in an honest and blame-free way to address the issues and seeing if that can help boost intimacy.