Courtesy of Netflix
Amy Schumer Talks Pregnancy & Hyperemesis Gravidarum In Her New Special

Amy Schumer is one of those super-confessional performers who shares all her wonderful ups and ridiculous downs, both professionally and personally, so it came as no surprise to her fans that when she got married and announced she was pregnant, the funnywoman used her own crazy life as materials. So naturally, Schumer's quotes about hyperemesis gravidarum are so hilariously honest, it hurts.

The comedian, who as The Bump reported, surprised fans with her happy baby news last fall, then became extremely sick with a rare and hardcore type of morning sickness, also known as hyperemesis gravidarum. The website also noted that she's been as real and relatable since then as she can be, between having to check into the hospital and be on an IV to throwing up right before she had to go onstage.

As NBC's TODAY reported, Schumer was so ill earlier in her pregnancy, she had to cancel some of her live tour dates. Luckily, fans can take solace in her Netflix special, Growing (which premieres March 19 according to USA Today), in which she gives lots of juicy (and, of course, funny) new details about her life and state of mind as she awaits her first child with husband Chris Fischer, as People confirmed.

The Daily Beast reported that Schumer hasn't lost her bite in her political and social commentary about our society, making jokes about everything from society's expectations of females to Congress trying to control a woman's right to choose to the #MeToo era. Here are some of her best quotes from the new project:

She's Really Happy For Women Who Love Being Pregnant... Not

Because Schumer has had such a difficult pre-baby experience so far, suffering as she has with the same extreme pregnancy syndrome that affected Kate Middleton, according to The Blast, the comedian doesn't exactly (and reasonably) have a lot of patience for people who talk about their childbearing days as the best of their lives. (I have never understood those types myself; pregnancy is generally hard, no matter how you slice it.)

"If you had a good pregnancy, if you're someone who enjoyed being pregnant, I hope your car flips over," she quipped on the show. Oh, Amy, as naughty as ever.

She Might Be Pregnant & Sick, But She's Not A Completely Different Person

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Schumer also wove her own life into the show, offering hilarrious details about being the last of her friends to settle down and the fact the people don't generally change.

"Here's the thing, you're pregnant, but you don't change who you are. I hate women who start to act like, really just like, precious. Yes, now I'm a saint and I never had sex in a bathroom on a train. We've all had sex in a bathroom on a train. You don't stop being you. You don't stop working or drinking," she joked on the tendency to expect regular gals to transition to mom mode overnight.

Good point. It's hard to imagine Amy as as a non-swearing, apron-wearing, cookie-serving mom from some old sitcom, no matter how many babies she ends up having. (Not that she can probably think past her current straits, I would imagine.)

She Had To Do The New Show Or She Probably Wouldn't Risk Vomiting Onstage

It would be cool to picture Schumer as so dedicated to her job that she was willing to get up onstage and shoot her special in a gesture of heroism... but in reality, it was something she had to do — or else face the consequences.

"I have not had an easy pregnancy. I have hyperemesis, which I'd never even heard of," she noted to the crowd during the special. "It's extreme nausea and vomiting. If you've ever had food poisoning, it's that. I've had that every day for five months ... People are like, 'You're so strong, look at you out there! You're on the road!' I'm contractually obligated to be out here, guys. I will be sued by Live Nation. That's why I'm here."

In fact, the performer filmed a promo for the project that shows her (fake) vomiting mid-clip (as least I hope it's fake vomiting, you really never know with Schumer's condition). So, funny as she is, I'm sure the comedian would rather be on the couch until her due date with symptoms this strong.

It's A Good Thing She's Bad On The Internet Or We Might Not Have This Special At All

Literally being serious for just once, Schumer gave her hubby a heartfelt thanks on her Instagram account for getting her through writing, filming, and producing the special, given the strain that she's been under.

"I didn't know that being pregnant could be really hard," the comedian explained in the special. "I didn't know that. Because you bitches all lie about it," she joked during the special. "Women don't tell you how hard it is. I should've [G]oogled it. I should've [G]oogled being pregnant, because it's been really awful...."I throw up an exorcist amount every day."

This special sounds like the real deal: funny, but also hard-hitting about where we are in the world right now, with some serious issues coming up for women and moms in this country. I'm sorry Schumer had to push herself to complete it, but for my sake, I'm so very pleased that the A-lister neglected any internet research, got pregnant without any info, and now has completed a whole new show for me to watch.

Thanks, Amy!