Channing Tatum Will Play A Merman In The ‘Splash’ Remake, & The Internet Cannot Handle It
Quick, someone get my DSLR with the telephoto lens: Channing Tatum is heading to the beach! While this might sound like just another uninspired paparazzi blip on the celebrity radar, this is so much splashier than that. Channing Tatum will play a merman in the Splash remake. There are so many things to unpack with this announcement. First — Oh hey! Splash, the 32-year-old Disney film, is getting a remake. And second: Tatum as merman means obligatory Channing Tatum shirtless footage, because mermaid tail. Dear Disney: Please do not give Tatum's pecs the Little Mermaid purple shell bikini top treatment, mkay? I — and so many others — would be oh so grateful.
No, but seriously, this is pretty interesting news. First Ghostbusters, now Splash? Perhaps gender swapping remakes are the latest way that Hollywood has found to reinvent itself. Forget the sequels, the prequels, and all those gritty remakes: The new cinema hotness is taking an old story, telling it exactly the same way, but with swapping the guy roles for lady roles and vice-versa. *Collective internet gasp*
Whoa ho ho — slow down there, cowperson. While it might seem like Hollywood has run out of ideas, folks seem pretty pumped that Magic Mike is trading in the banana hammock for a fish tail. But some aren't so thrilled. Either way, the internet is blowing up about the prospect of Channing Tatum playing a mermaid.
A gender-swapped redux of Splash with Channing Tatum as the mermaid? THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD https://t.co/KevbCRxGAR— Lesley Kinzel (@lesleykinzel) August 1, 2016
I was like, "they really don't need to reboot Splash." Then, I read Channing Tatum is playing the mermaid & I'm like pic.twitter.com/xdaRxUIFwv— Mack Holiday (@HolidayWhatTV) August 1, 2016
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY! - Channing Tatum as the 'Splash' mermaid? Disney could make this wish come true https://t.co/jstkzvLJtg— Lucy Woodhull (@lucywoodhull) August 1, 2016
But a mermaid-tailed Tatum just wasn't doing it for others:
no offense but this is the worst day of my life they're remaking splash and that thumb channing tatum gets to play a mermaid— courtney (@ckmakestweets) August 1, 2016
Really? The worst day of your life Courtney? #Priorities. But she's not alone:
They're gonna ruin Splash now. Stop making these classics into stupid comedies, man.— jay's daze (@iamjustin_420) August 1, 2016
So now they're gonna have Channing Tatum ruin the movie Splash for me. Can Hollywood please leave the 80's alone?— The Black Gambit (@Cybersoulja) August 1, 2016
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? FFS Channing Tatum Will Star in a Splash Remake As the Damn Mermaid https://t.co/QBqWFCuY0f— BoozyWife (@BoozyLife) August 1, 2016
As the internet continues to process the news of a Tatum-as-merman (Tatum-maid? Mer-Tatum?) remake of Splash, it's time to play the waiting game to see if a double standard of opinions regarding the gender swap rears its ugly head on the internet. Will Splash receive the same almighty wrath of the internet that the all-female cast of Ghostbusters received in the months leading up to its premiere?
Whether Tatum playing Darryl Hannah's mermaid and co-star Jillian Bell in the role originally played by Tom Hanks will get the Ghostbusters reaction treatment remains to be seen. I think it's safe to say that Channing Tatum playing a mermaid wasn't the news anyone was really expected to hear — ever, really. Either you love the idea, loathe the idea, or are just generally going "huh?" over the idea, I can guarantee we'll be seeing a ton of Channing Tatum meets Zoolander meets The Little Mermaid mashups until the film arrives — and truly, these are the best reactions to come out of the news.
They just released the poster for Channing Tatum's remake of Splash. Enjoy this exclusive peek: pic.twitter.com/KM6dBbLeHC— Rebecca Jane Stokes (@beeswrite) August 1, 2016
My first and only thought upon hearing Channing Tatum is going to play a mermaid: pic.twitter.com/vztjnKPFr0— Amy Shanks (@shankster19) August 1, 2016
I don’t know what Splash is but I guess it’s like The Little Mermaid but now with more Channing Tatum. pic.twitter.com/i0Cxc3VAdp— (((Robert Harris))) (@HaywireHawk) August 1, 2016
No details have yet been released about when the Splash remake will open in theaters.