If you want to know what it's like to be a mom, look no further than Twitter, where Chrissy Teigen's tweet about buying gifts after having kids is just the latest hilarious example of her mission to live-tweet the entire motherhood experience. Whether she's expressing joy, sadness, frustration or any of the other countless intense emotions that come along with being a parent, she keeps it real and relatable. And because she's a Twitter genius who could have a second career in stand-up comedy if she wanted to, her tweets are often laugh-out-loud funny.
On Thursday afternoon, she came up with a life hack that could potentially save millions of dollars, and maybe even the planet in the process. If you've been scrambling to come up with a birthday present for your mom or a Fathers' Day present for your spouse, don't bother: "you get to give way cheaper gifts when you have kids," Teigen wrote in a tweet that has since been deleted. "literally just take a pile of garbage and write 'love, [kid’s name]' and no one says anything." As the proud owner of a jar full of sand, a shoelace-and-rigatoni necklace, and a rock with a feather and a pompom attached, I can attest that garbage given with love by a toddler will be cherished forever.
Every time Teigen tweets about that mom life, current moms are nodding in agreement, and future moms are getting a lesson in what to expect:
See, this is where Sesame Street did us wrong. Making dolls and stuffed animals for toddlers with holes that you can stick food in is just asking for trouble.
Teigen went through multiple rounds of IVF and suffered a miscarriage before becoming pregnant with her second child, so nobody can accuse her of not wanting him. Therefore, she's free to tell the truth about gestation. It may be a miracle or whatever, but it's no fun (still worth it, though).
No American Girl Dolls For Luna
I was on board when they were trying to teach little girls about history, but these salons and restaurants that serve dolls are too much. Go home, American Doll company, you're drunk.
The Need For Privacy
OK, I've heard of going behind the couch, but becoming a real estate developer every time she needs to go? Luna's pretty impressive.
Blaming It On The Baby
When you're pregnant, everything you eat is because the fetus specifically requested it, obviously. They love Cinnabon, Rice Krispies Treats, and Swedish Fish, FYI.
A Twitter joke about an unusual IVF case naturally devolved into an abortion debate (because Twitter) and Teigen couldn't help weighing in to school a "doctor" who doesn't know the difference between a zygote and a billy goat. Starting any sentence with "as a mom" guarantees that nobody can argue with what follows, because moms are always right.
But She Is Still New At This
Luna is nearly 2 years old, so it's possible that she's just not a licker, but how did Teigen not know about this?
Your Rep Still Matters
Most of us finally stop caring what other people think of us sometime between high school and our 30s, but TBH, it's still pretty rad when the cool kids like you.
Those Pop-Up Art Installations, Though
Discovering an oddly-placed collection of household items and trying to decipher what the baby was thinking when they did that is not only a super fun game, it's probably really good for your brain, like sudoku.
If you have (or have met) a child age 3 or older, you know that the "terrible twos" are a damn lie. Threenagers are the worst. But again, still worth it.
Check out Romper's new video series, Bearing The Motherload, where disagreeing parents from different sides of an issue sit down with a mediator and talk about how to support (and not judge) each other’s parenting perspectives. New episodes air Mondays on Facebook.