Disney World isn't just for kids; it caters to a wide variety of visitors from all walks of life. If you're a goth teen or a dour Victorian spinster whose family wants to drag you to the park, you might feel a little out of place, but not anymore, because Disney has black lace Minnie Mouse ears now, according to HelloGiggles, and there's even a veil attached to the headband. You can wear it over the back of your head if you want to cultivate bride of the dead vibe, or flip it forward to obscure your face for a more mysterious look.
If you weren't following the summer fashion trends (because you are a tortured soul who cares not for fashion, and prefers to hang out with your best friend, the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe), you might not have heard about rose gold Minnie ears, which took Instagram by storm and continue to be nearly impossible to find. With Halloween fast approaching, it's likely that the new lace ears will become the next hot ticket item, so make a beeline for Orlando, because they're only available at Disney parks for $24.99. Well, officially, anyway. There are a couple pairs currently up on eBay, or you might be able to snag a set from another reseller, like Your WDW Store, for a bit of a markup.
But black lace Minnie Mouse ears (complete with veil) are a very specific accessory, so you might be hesitant to invest in something you'll really only wear for a few days while you're on vacation. Oh, you silly, sad person with the soul of a crow, you couldn't be more wrong! There are myriad occasions during which these ears are not only appropriate, they're practically mandatory! In fact, you're probably going to wonder how you ever got along without them. Here are just a few examples:
When mourning the passing of a mouse, the attention should be on the deceased, not your red, puffy eyes and running nose. Have some decorum and cover up with a veil.
Junior Goth Club Recruitment Events
If your goth friends are all beginning to cover up their Joy Division tattoos, quitting clove cigarettes, and spending time outdoors in the daylight, it's time to induct some fresh blood into your crew. Hang around elementary schools and parks to meet new people. Kids will be drawn to your Minnie ears!
Mad Tea Parties (In A Graveyard)
When you're making like Alice and the Mad Hatter, sipping tea and eating scones among the bones of your ancestors, etiquette dictates that you dress accordingly.
Beginner's Taxidermy Class
I guarantee they've seen weirder stuff before.
Mall Food Courts
Your ears are too goth for the Disney Store, but too cutesy for Hot Topic. So where's a girl supposed to loiter? The food court, the mall's great equalizer! Tuck into a table between Nathan's and Sbarro, where everyone, even a unique spirit like you, belongs.
Bonus points if you attend The Shining Ball at the Stanley Hotel. Pair the ears with a lacy flapper dress and you'll fit right in with a look that's equal parts retro, sinister, and oddly sexual.
General Lurking & Skulking
Just wherever you'd usually lurk or skulk. Alleys, loading docks, just outside the glow of a streetlight, whatever curdles your blood.
The 'Emily The Strange' Premiere
That's right, the dark, subversive comics you read in your youth are being made into a movie. Don't you feel old and full of despair now? You're welcome.
The Woods At Dusk
Have a friend take sepia-toned photos of you for your Instagram story, or if you've got a little extra time, you can write, shoot, and star in an art film where Minnie Mouse is a metaphor for the ennui of lost youth. Don't forget to bring a fog machine!
Your Stepsister's Wedding
That'll show her.
Enjoy your Minnie ears!
Watch Romper's new video series, Romper's Doula Diaries:
Check out the entire Romper's Doula Diaries series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.