Disney has released a brand new trailer for Zootopia, set to premiere in March 2016, and you are going to need an eternity to watch it. Set in a “modern mammal metropolis,” Zootopia shows us what the world would look like if animals were in charge. When Officers Judy Hopps (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman) need to run a license plate to track down a suspect, they head to the local DMV, a place that humans know all too well as a time-suck from Hell. So it won’t surprise you to see that the Zootopian DMV is staffed exclusively by sloths.
You know that thing where you’re waiting for your toddler to do something all by himself? And you know it would just take two seconds if you did it for him, but he’s got to learn to be self-sufficient, so you wait (and wait, and wait)? And you’re clenching your fists and grinding your teeth, and smiling way too wide, because being patient is really, really hard? That’s what Disney’s going for here, and they pretty much nailed it. While Officer Wilde has no problem waiting all damn day for Raymond S. Persi’s Flash to type in seven freakin’ digits, Officer Hopps slowly dying inside, and I really feel her. Let’s break it down.
When You First Walk In & See What You're Up Against
Oh, hell, no. I can't wait for all these people! Don't they know I have somewhere to be? And why do they have so many windows if they're only going to open half of them?
Trying To Look Cute In Your Photo
Hair and makeup on point, practiced "smizing" in the mirror like Tyra taught me, and... Gah, I wasn't ready! How many do-overs am I allowed?
I Mean, How Is It Possible To Move That Slowly?
Yeah, no, it's fine, it's not like I have to run five more errands and pick up my kid and cook dinner or anything. Take your time with that.
When They Tell You No
I'm in the wrong what? I didn't fill out the proper who now? Can't I just live?
And They Won't Listen
Please let me tell you how to do your job, because clearly you have no clue. Can I just hop back there and do it myself? I honestly think that would be easier.
And Then They Get Someone Else Involved
Yes, please, get your slow AF coworker and your slow AF supervisor over here, so you can all be slow AF together, because I totally want to spend the rest of my life in this place.
Checking Off The Stages Of Grief
Bargaining is particularly unflattering.
When You're Finally Free
It's nighttime now. In fact, it's nighttime 17 years later, you've lost your job because you didn't show up, your partner left you, your kids are grown, and oh yeah, that new license you just got has expired, so you might as well turn around and go back inside.
So basically... Zootopia is a kids' movie about the fact that life is one long, excruciating march towards death? Fun! Just kidding — it looks pretty hilarious/awesome. Check out the full trailer below, which should keep you busy until the movie premieres in four months.
Image: Walt Disney Animation Studios/YouTube