ABC/Craig Sjodin

Do Machines To Simulate Labor Really Work? ‘The Bachelorette’ Men Are About To Find Out In The Most Hilarious Way

Share

This season of The Bachelorette has already been a wild ride. Between the contestants with alleged girlfriends, others saying the L-word way too soon, and Hannah Beast's growl hitting high numbers, I'm sure it's the "most dramatic season in Bachelor history." And now the guys are going through a major test: they're about to undergo simulated labor to experience the same pain of a birthing mother-to-be. Sounds cool (and twisted), but do machines to stimulate labor really work? The Bachelorette men are about to find out how much pain women go through all the damn time.

While men think they can handle labor pains — and it's easy to say as much if you never have to actually go through it — Hannah's about to see if her men can. It's a fairly new technology invented by doctors in Jinan, which is in eastern China's Shandong Province. They first tested the equipment by wiring 20 men to machines that sent electric shocks to their abdomens. The pain only lasts about 30 seconds — just like a real contraction, but minus the excruciating part of pushing a human out — with 10 different levels of pain on a scale of 50-500. The doctors found that the test men tapped out when the simulation levels reached just 100. The average length of time a woman is in labor can be anywhere from 6-14 hours and is generally pretty darn painful (closer to 500, dudes). This is just one more reason why women are strong AF.

In the promo for the next episode, John Paul Jones (say the full name, always) is seen testing out the equipment. His reaction kind of says it all. While he's in so much pain he can't see straight, the other guys are living their best lives. Labor isn't a synonym for "work" for no reason. Guys, you have no idea.

Bachelor Nation on ABC on YouTube

The pseudo-birthing trend has even inspired "Deliver Bars" in China. In shopping malls, men can stop at the kiosk and experience the full range of pain. Likewise, another company in Bristol created a "Labor Pain Experience" that lets men carry a weighted bump and then they're connected with a transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) machine to go through the simulation. That's not all — these types of experiences are starting to pop up all over. The Bump spoke of the 30-minute simulation offered by Ultrasound Babyface as a unique gift to give your man. Yes, please.

If you're wondering how the labor-simulating machine actually works, TENS is small and battery-operated with "leads connected to sticky pads called electrodes." The original purpose was to relieve muscles in pain, but when pushing the settings to their limits, causes mild to moderate pain and discomfort. It's about as close to the real thing as a man can get, so the fact that Hannah's using this to weed out those who can't empathize shows how serious she is about finding Mr. Right. Also, as a viewer, I fully approve.

It remains to be seen if John Paul Jones can get through the entire labor simulation, or if he taps out early. I'm also anxious to see who else is put to the test. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to see Luke P., to give it a whirl. There are a lot of ways to sort through a batch of guys competing for your heart, but this is, by far, my favorite. No pain, no gain, right?