Eva Mendes, mother to two young daughters with her partner, Ryan Gosling, rarely makes public appearances these days. In the rare occasion the mom steps out and gives some insight into her very private life, you definitely want to listen to what she has to say. But her lack of appearances also has to do with the fact that Mendes experiences the all too common feeling of mom guilt when she leaves her home. In fact, Mendes said that she'll never be free of mom guilt, and it's something that a lot of moms can relate to.
Mendes is busy — she's a full time working actress, clothing designer for New York & Co., and on top of all that, she's a mom. Mendes now devotes a lot of time to her daughters, 3-year-old Esmeralda and 1-year-old Amada, but does have to spend some time away from her kids every once in a while. During a recent appearance to debut her fall fashion line, Mendes revealed to E! News, that while she can escape from her daughters for a few days to work, she can never escape the mom guilt. Mendes said, according to E! News:
Oh my God, nobody warns you about the guilt that you feel when you do work! I don't know how I find balance, because I think it is like a day-to-day struggle, you know?
These feelings have become so bad for Mendes, it actually has become a lasting issue. Mendes said, according to E! News, that there is a fine line between enjoying self care and feeling guilty for it:
I'm all for obviously taking care of myself — that's how I can take care of them of course — but that guilt is just kind of always there. It's like, "Ugh this is gonna be forever now."
But this isn't the first time that Mendes has spoken about mom guilt or the struggle to leave her kids. During an interview with Latina last year Mendes revealed that she was taking a break from acting to spend time with her daughters. She also stated that a "really special" project would have to come along to "take her away" from her kids. Mendes told Latina:
I don't like saying "take me away," but essentially that's what work does. I think it can be very, very healthy if that's something that feels worthwhile. Right now, I feel very fortunate to be home with my kids. I feel so lucky, and I'm just taking advantage of that.
But Mendes isn't alone. If you're a mom then you know that "mom guilt" — or feeling guilty for going back to work, leaving your kids with a babysitter so you can run errands in peace, or even leaving your kids to have a date night — is such a real thing. A 2011 survey conducted by the Working Mother Research Institute found that 51 percent of mothers feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children, according to The New York Times, and feel judged about it, too.
But as it turns out, the time that moms spend with their kids is not directly correlated with the emotional well-being of their children. A March 2015 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that the amount of time a mother spent with their child has no impact on their child's behavior, emotions, or academic performance. This means, according to the Pew Research Center, that it might be time for moms to let go of those guilty feelings and know that their children are going to be OK regardless of whether or not they're with them.
But moms will always continue to feel guilty for leaving their kids even though they know they will be fine. Mendes isn't alone in her struggle to leave her kids. But as Mendes said in a interview with Shape this past March, she's much happier being at home than on the red carpet, anyway. Aren't we all?
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