Let's Talk About These High Heels For Babies

Do you ever find yourself thinking, "Man, my baby is so cute, but if only I could put her feet into some high heels, then she'd really be on point"? Well, someone went ahead and made high heels for babies so that even the youngest fashionistas would have their own way to top off a bold look. (This is not fake news, these are real, and yes, you can absolutely buy them.)

The company, Pee Wee Pumps, makes "infant crib shoes" for babies ages 0 to 6 months. The shoes come in patterns like leopard print and zebra print, as well as solid colors like pink and black. And while they originally retailed for $29.99, the website currently lists them at a sale price of $14.99.

According to the blurb on the Pee Wee Pumps website,

Fashion-forward moms love to dress up their little girls with the cutest bows and outfits, and are always looking for the perfect pair of shoes to complete any outfit. Now they’ve found them with Pee Wee Pumps – infant crib shoes with a collapsible heel! They’re just like mom’s favorite pair of pumps only in a miniature size. Pee Wee Pumps will be your daughter’s first fashion statement.

Imagine how impressive your baby's first steps will be if she takes them in heels. Take that, other babies!

And she'll be able to adapt to the sensation of strapping a pair of flashy-looking daggers to her feet early on (amirite?), so that, later in life, she can dance all night at the club, or give a long work presentation while looking pulled together AF. (Maybe also teach her about Dr. Scholl's and the idea the women shouldn't have to feel pressured to wear heels in order to be respected in the workplace or anywhere else, because, you know, it's her body and her health that are at stake.)

The reactions to the shoes on social media have been mixed. On the Pee Wee Pumps Instagram account, people have posted positive responses about how cute the baby high heels are. Others, however, have been reacting a little differently. "What in tarnation," BuzzFeed titled a profile of the product on Monday. "THEY CANT EVEN WALK," one Twitter user wrote.

Perhaps now is a good time to be a killjoy, and give a little reminder of all the ways that real high heels can damage your feet if you're not careful about it. These crib-shoes are OK, since they're just for fun and won't do damage to your baby's feet — so buy away, if they suit your little one's (or grandma's) fancy. But remember that the same rule doesn't apply to real heels. The American Podiatric Medical Association is not a fan of the heels, and conducted a 2014 survey which found them to be the most common cause of foot pain for women. Heels can lead to blisters and bunions, along with an increased risk of ankle sprains and other lower-body injuries. Plus, since they put a great deal of strain on your kneecaps, they can heighten your risk of early-onset osteoarthritis. In other words, buying a tiny pair of actual stilettos for your 2-year-old is probably a terrible idea.

All told, these baby high heels could definitely make for some fun photo opportunities. Or, if your baby is having none of it, a pair of cozy socks is OK too. Sometimes babies just want to be babies without looking chic, you know?