The ever-controversial method of crying it out when sleep training typically comes under scrutiny for the adverse ways some believe it can affect a child. However, taking on this approach can lead to strong feelings and issues for parents as well. Although you may be gung-ho for giving this sleep training style a whirl, not having all adults in the house on board can make for a rough round of sleep training. If you haven't thought about how cry it out affects your partner, it's a good idea to consider things from their side before committing to this method.
To be clear, cry it out can look different for every family. Families can customize this approach to sleep training to fit their comfort level. According to Baby Center, the theory behind crying it out is that, with the help of an adult, children can learn to soothe themselves to sleep, both at bedtime and when waking in the night. How much and for how long you choose to let your baby cry is up to you, but even after this crucial piece has been determined, there can still be some fall out if you and your partner aren't in complete agreement on crying it out.
As Parents magazine explained, even after researching the method and agreeing that it's a successful way to sleep train, some parents still can't bear to listen to their child cry. If your partner falls into this category, it is going to be very difficult to follow through on the plan to let your baby cry it out. Their instincts may speak louder than logic, which means your partner's desire to soothe and comfort the baby can cause internal tension for them as well projecting than tension on to you.
These tense feelings can accumulate, causing misplaced anger to be dispersed. According to the website for the Wall Street Journal, sleeplessness from a new baby can cause lowered relationship satisfaction for couples. Sleep deprivation takes a toll on the body, as Healthline reported, and not getting sleep due to a baby crying it out all night can exacerbate those issues for your partner. Your other half may start to bring the negative feelings associated with and from sleep training into your relationship.
Before you venture into cry it out territory, have an open and honest discussion about the method with your partner. If you can't agree 100 percent that this is the right approach for your family, you'll want to consider other options and find one that you both feel good about. Eventually, your baby will sleep through the night, but problems that erupt from not seeing eye-to-eye on sleep training can have lasting and damaging effects on your relationship.