Romper

How To Be Body Positive During Sex, Which Isn't Always Easy

The thought of getting naked in front of someone can be daunting. No matter what you look like or how you feel about yourself, getting naked strikes fear into hearts around the world. Lucky for anyone who's come face to face with their body issues in this life, society seems to be undergoing a transformation of the way we view bodies, treat sexuality, and speak to malleable young minds about body positivity. Although it's important to consider how to be body positive in the day to day, it's equally important to consider how to be body positive during sex.

Because you're so often completely naked during sex, staying body positive during the act can be difficult and often times requires some practice. And it's not just for you, either. Sure, being body positive and celebrating your own body is incredibly important, but (most of the time) you're not just having sex with yourself. Your partner can be greatly affected by the level of body positivity you're bringing to the bedroom, whether you realize it or not. So rather than turning the lights off and attempting to hide your body the next time you're getting ready for a romp in the sheets, try out a few of these tricks to stay body positive during sex, and celebrate your body in all its glory.

1. Leave The Lights On

giphy

That's right, you heard me. Leave the lights on. I know you're thinking I'm crazy, or delusional, or that I have it out for you — but I promise, I don't. The first line of defense for anyone with a negative perception of their own body is to turn off the lights before letting someone else get up close and personal with their naked body. In order to combat this negative instinct, one of the easiest ways to change your mentality is to leave those lights on. It might be uncomfortable at first, but you might just find that it's liberating.

2. Don't Suck Anything In

giphy

Embracing your body as it is can be a struggle, but once you've learned to love yourself exactly as you are, you'll feel a certain amount of liberation. This means no sucking in or attempting to flex as you're taking off those clothes in front of your partner. It's tempting when engaging in foreplay to manipulate your body into looking a certain way. But the glory of sex is that it's human, it's animal instinct, and it doesn't have to be society's perception of "pretty" in order to be valid. You sweat, you jiggle, and you feel damn good, if all goes well. So why attempt to hide anything about your body during such a primal exchange?

3. Learn Your Body

giphy

One of the best ways to learn body positivity is to spend some time getting to know your own body. Standing in front of the mirror naked or in lingerie is plenty of peoples worst nightmare. But when you change your mentality to a positive approach, and make an effort to praise the things you love about your body while you're standing in front of that mirror, you're taking an enormous step toward embracing your body, and feeling more comfortable in your own skin. Changing the narrative of your body positivity begins with you.

4. Don't Try To Hide

giphy

If you've ever felt less than great about your body, you know that turning your lights off, laying a certain way, covering yourself up with the comforter until your partner climbs in, these are all defense mechanisms. Take a break from all the hiding, all the attempting to keep your body under wraps. Body confidence comes one day, one step at a time. By getting rid of those defense mechanisms, or at the very least attempting to curb or put an end to them, you'll be taking a giant leap towards feeling confident and sexy in the bedroom, instead of nervous and apologetic for your body.

5. Relish Your Partner's Body

giphy

Although body positivity is so often centered on your own body, you're not the only body in the room during sex. And though it can be hard to get out of your own comfort zone in the bedroom, spending time focusing on your partner's body and really relishing in your partner's body will not only make them feel incredibly sexy, but it'll help you push any negative thoughts about your own body out of your mind. Shifting the focus, and giving some selfless love and appreciation to your partner will lift the both of you up.

6. Wear What Makes You Feel Sexy

giphy

Got a teddy that makes you feel like a complete sex kitten? Put that bad boy on. Feel sexiest in one of your partner's t-shirts? Pull it on and check yourself out in the mirror to inspire self-confidence. Society often tries to tell people (women especially) that you there are rules to sexiness, that only a certain type of body should feel good about themselves in lingerie. The body positive movement is here to bust all of those myths, and support you wearing exactly what makes you feel sexy, no matter if it's lace, cotton, or anything in between.

7. Think About Things Rationally

giphy

Here's the thing. If there's someone who is trying to take your clothes off and get intimate with you, they aren't looking at your body with clothes on, and expecting you to be something else underneath. When you approach the idea of getting naked in front of someone rationally — knowing that yes, they've seen your body (with clothes on) and sometimes they've already seen you naked before, and they're coming back for a second time — it makes things a little easier to digest.

You are worthy of loving, just as you are. You are beautiful, just the way you are. Being naked does not discount your beauty on any level, even if you wish things were a little bit different. Every body is different, every body is beautiful. By accepting these statements as facts, you'll not only empower yourself, but you'll empower your partner, too. There is nothing sexier than someone who is completely at home in their own skin, no matter how much skin they're showing.