You don't have to be an expert to know when something is missing from your relationship, especially when that something is love. Those tender yet thrilling feelings that once had you gaga for your SO can fade with time and neglect. But figuring out how to fall back in love with your partner is totally possible. With some honest thought and earnest effort, you and your loved one can find that bond that is still lingering inside both of you, no matter how long you've been together or what your relationship has endured.
Re-sparking the flame will take patience, time, and commitment, but if you're looking to salvage the love in your partnership, you have to put in every ounce of energy. Whether you've been together one year or 20, there are ways to fall back in love and make your relationship stronger than before. When approaching these ideas, make sure to choose something that fits the personalities of you and your partner and feels like it will encourage the love to flow. Everyone is different, and what works for some couples will be a bust for others. So before throwing in the towel, give a few of these love-boosting methods a try and see if your heart beats at least a little faster.
1. Get Handsy
Want to (literally) get back in touch with that lusty desire? Let your hands do the talking. As Health magazine explained, the brain is flooded with loving feelings from skin-to-skin contact. A hug, a kiss, or even snuggling can release chemicals that make you feel warm and fuzzy. And the more the better. Make time to physically connect with your partner to heat up the love again.
Perhaps what's standing in the way of those loving feelings is a longstanding grudge that needs to be set free. It may not happen instantly, but if you are able to grant your partner forgiveness for a past grievance, you will eventually start to remember why you loved them before they did or said whatever it was that hurt you.
3. Get Flirty
Remember the sexy banter that you two enjoyed when you first met? Rekindling the flirtation can breath new life into a relationship, according to Psychology Today. Send a flirty text or two during the day to set the stage for what's to come in the evening.
4. Take A Trip
You don't have to spend the weekend by the fire in a woodsy cabin to have a romantic getaway. Breaking your regular routine and getting out of the house, just the two of you, can help you to connect emotionally, physically, and sexually. Experiencing something new together breaks the routine of daily life and allows you to enjoy each other's company.
5. Scale Back On Critiques
It's hard to feel loving feelings toward someone if you're always finding their faults. According to the website for The Today Show criticism is hazardous to any relationship and should be used lightly and in a constructive manner.
6. Forget Fairytales
Most relationships don't look like a rom-com or sustain the level of excitement there was at the beginning. Over-romanticizing what being in love should look and feel like can lead to disappointments in the relationship, since some expectations are hard to sustain, as Redbook magazine pointed out. Try to stay realistic about what love is, since it's not all fairytales and pixie dust.
7. Laugh It Up
Laughing doesn't just feel good, it does good — especially when shared with your partner. As TIME magazine reported, the more time couples spend laughing together, the more loving feelings flow between them. Find as many opportunities as possible to fit in at least a few laughs a day to reignite your flame.
8. Stay Positive
In a funk and finding everything wrong with your other half? Jot down a list of things you like about them. Take you time and get really specific. It can be easy to forget all the good things sometimes, but once you get going, you'll remember all the wonderful things your partner brings to the relationship.
9. Put Down Your Phone
Researchers are calling it, "technoference," and it could be the cause of the loss of love between you and your SO. APA PsychNet, the website for the American Psychological Association, reported that the overuse of technological devices can trigger problems in romantic relationships, as one partner feels the other values their devices over them.
10. Be Grateful
Gratitude is a daily habit that can make your love life better. "Research has found that gratitude increases relationship satisfaction and (not surprisingly) intensifies the feeling of being connected," as Psychology Today explained. Plus, expressing gratitude makes you feel good too, so it's a win for everyone.
11. Do Something New Together
Has your partner been talking about getting their SCUBA certification for years, yet never signed up? Surprise them with classes for the two of you. Taking on a new challenge together not only allows you to spend more time with each other, but encourages bonding.
12. Chat After Sex
Don't move on to the next task (or doze off) right after sex, have a little chat with your partner. Researchers from the University of Connecticut found that there is power in pillow talk, meaning couples were more inclined to share deeper feelings right after sex.
13. Share Your Expectations
It's impossible for your partner to read your mind, and perhaps the reason you feel let down by them, is because you haven't been clear about your expectations. Sharing your expectations with your SO to let them know what's going on in your head. Unspoken expectations can never be met.