During the course of any relationship, you are guaranteed to experience the full range of emotions. The same person whose gives you the warm and fuzzies can also know exactly what to say to get your blood boiling. Disagreements with your partner are inevitable, but by changing the way you fight, you can be better prepared to prevent a minor dispute from turning into a full-blown war. Before you have one more fight about who should take out the garbage, you should know how to fight with your partner in a healthy way.
Believe it or not, there is a right way to fight with your partner, and it can make all of the difference in the overall well-being of your relationship. According to Hey Sigmund, research has shown that how a couple fights is a good indicator of whether or not they will divorce. Staying on topic, avoiding name calling, and knowing when you need to take a break are all healthy ways to make sure you can voice your concerns and prevent the argument from getting out of control.
At the end of the day, you and your partner are on the same team and you want your relationship to succeed. You may not be able to avoid arguments, but by working together, you have the power to respectfully disagree without causing long-term damage to your relationship.
1. Don't Go Off Topic
If your fight is about sharing household responsibilities, you shouldn't be talking about your sex life. When you're arguing with your partner, it's important to remember to stay on the topic at hand, rather than throwing in unrelated grievances, according to Real Simple.
2. Keep Your Voice Down
You may be extremely passionate about your position, but yelling has no place in a healthy fight. As Hey Sigmund mentioned, once you've started yelling in an argument, no one is listening anymore. Try using your inside voice to express your opinion.
3. Stay Engaged
Even if you weren't the one to initiate the fight, it's important to give the conversation your undivided attention out of respect to your partner and your relationship. As Women's Day mentioned, avoid texting, watching television, or other distractions in an argument, and focus on clearing the air.
4. Take A Break
You may want to resolve your issue as quickly possible, but sometimes you may need to go to your corners and take a break. As Real Simple pointed out, if emotions are high, you may need to take a break from the fight to give yourself a chance to cool off. The last thing you want is to say something you might regret.
5. Stay Away From Personal Attacks
As Dr. Gail Gross wrote on The Huffington Post, it's important to remember to focus on the issue at hand rather than using the fight as an opportunity to attack your partner.
6. Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help
You can do your best to discuss your issues with your partner, but sometimes you just may not be able to find common ground and move forward. It's important to recognize when you and your partner need help from a therapist or trusted religious leader and be open to the idea of seeking help from an unbiased third party.
7. Find Something You Can Agree On
As Hey Sigmund pointed out, it can help for you and your partner to find some common ground during your fight to remind you both that you are on the same team.
8. Don't Shut Down
Although it's OK to take a break from a disagreement, you should not let the communication stop all together. According to Psychology Today, completely withdrawing from the discussion of an issue is an unhealthy way to communicate. It's also unfair to your partner.
9. Leave Others Out Of It
There's nothing like a good gab session with your girlfriends, but when it comes to issues in your relationship, you should leave them out of it. According to Women's Day, if you want to have a healthy discussion about an issue, you should avoid getting other people involved.