Sure, plenty of people are curious about the possibility of a threesome. After all, who wouldn't love the idea of having two people in your bed, at your total beck and call? But like many things, taking the idea of a threesome from fantasy to reality is a whole other matter entirely. Knowing how to have a threesome the sane and polite way can make your encounter that much better.
Because these things typically don't just fall into your lap in the real world, you may have to put forth a bit of work to arrange a threesome. Considering your own feelings, as well as those of your partner (if you have one) are first and foremost. But choosing all of the players for this particular game, and making sure everyone has a fun time, can take some careful arrangement on your part.
But as long as everyone involved is respectful of boundaries and down to party, a threesome can be an amazing addition to your sexual escapades. If nothing else, it will give you a great story to tell. Read on to learn the dignified, safe way to arrange a threesome, and how to make the most of your time with more than one bed buddy.
1
Talk It Out
Communication is key for any sexual encounter, but it's trebly important when you're considering a threesome. If you're in a relationship, are both parties really on board with the idea? If you're single, do you want to find other singles for this party, or are you more on-board with the idea of a couple? Be honest with yourself and any potential partners.
2
Set Boundaries & Guidelines
Talking it out beforehand also entails a conversation about what you're comfortable doing. Maybe you're OK with your partner giving and receiving oral from a third party, but nothing beyond that. As noted in Greatist, it's crucial to have a talk about boundaries and honor everybody's wishes during the heat of the moment. After all, this should be enjoyable for everyone.
3
Find A Third
If you're a couple who wants to initiate a threesome, then it's time to find your third. According to Vogue, past hookups, dating sites, or even bars may be OK venues for finding an interested person. Be prepared, though: this phase may take a little time.
4
Play Nice
Although you may not find a chapter on ménage à trois in any Emily Post book, you can still maintain good threesome etiquette. According to Crushable, treating all participants with respect and courtesy is crucial. Even when you're getting down and dirty, it's important to keep in mind that you're all real people, not sex dolls.
5
Set The Stage
Whether you're hooking up in a hotel room or your marital bed, make sure you have the necessary supplies on hand. As noted in Thought Catalogue, the usual window dressings for romance, such as candles, wine, and a sexy playlist, are a fantastic starting point. Chances are, you'll want to loosen up a bit before things get going.
6
Stay Involved
Make sure no one gets left out in the middle of things. Stay involved in the action, even if you're just running your hands over bodies, as noted in Love Panky. Sulking is generally not a good move.
7
Have A Safe Word
Sometimes, the reality of adventurous sex is very different from your fantasies. Because of this, it's smart to have a safe word for threesomes, as explained in the Independent. That way, if the events seriously weird you out, you have an easy way to stop the action and regroup.
8
Try Different Arrangements
Your usual roster of sex positions may need some additions. Sure, there are plenty of resources for FFM sex. But there are also tons of positions for MMF arrangements (or any other combo under the sun). Get creative.
9
Keep It Safe
This is not the time to play fast and loose with protection. According to Your Tango, it's exceptionally crucial to use condoms, dams, or your barrier of choice. Remember to switch out the condoms if you're penetrating different people.
10
Discuss Disclosure
How much of your personal life are you willing to share? Before indulging in a threesome, have a chat about whether the three of you will discuss the threesome with friends after the fact, or whether you'd prefer to keep it quiet, as explained by Metro. Not everyone likes to have their private life made public.
11
Exit Gracefully
Will all three of you depart after the encounter, or will you all spend the night together? Is there realistically enough room in the bed for three adults to sleep comfortably? Hammering out these questions ahead of time will prevent any post-coitus awkwardness, as explained in Women's Health. After all, no one wants to get unexpectedly turned out of a nice warm bed.
12
Talk It Through
Seriously, it's all about communication. If you're in a relationship, talk it out with your partner the next morning. If this is a more casual arrangement you would like to repeat, express that to your threesome friends.
13
Take Care Of Yourself
Whether your threesome was the night of your life, slightly horrifying, or something in between, make time for some self care the next day. According to Blog Her, this may involve reconnecting with your SO, or even just giving yourself a little treat so you don't feel lonely. Whatever the case, you now have a new sexual experience to consider.
