In a perfect world, both partners would orgasm as the same time. But those times when satisfaction is simultaneous can be a rare (albeit beautiful) occurrence. If your partner has a habit of reaching the finish line before you, don't throw in the towel thinking that's a good as it's going to get for you two. There are ways to keep your partner from ejaculating early that you can work on as a team, and max out the time on all the pleasure.
If this is an issue you and your partner want to address, here's the good news. There is more than one way to approach this situation, and with so many options to explore, there is likely to be one that will work for your male partner. Some things you can try together — which could be loads of fun — and others that he can work on solo. But no matter which option you choose, it's important for you to stay open and supportive of your partner as you work together to seek solutions.
You may have to try more than one of these 11 ways to keep your partner from ejaculating early before you find what works, but keeping an open mind and being patient will help you in the process.
1. Try The Stop-Start Method
Among the most commonly recommended solutions for dealing with early ejaculation is the Stop-Start Method. This involves prolonging orgasm for as long as possible. As the video above explains, this can be done either with a partner, or practicing solo through masturbation.
2. Take Deep Breaths
When things get hot and heavy in the bedroom, your breathing can become short and shallow — which may lead to that early ejaculation you've been trying to avoid. To prolong things, sex and relationship expert Dr. Laura Berman told Everyday Health that you should have your partner take long breaths that last five seconds on each inhale and exhale, with a three second pause between.
3. Do Kegels
Contrary to popular belief, kegels are not just for the ladies. Having a strong pelvic floor is believed to help a man's sexual performance, according to Cosmopolitan. So remind your guy to squeeze and release between 20 to 30 times a day.
4. Attempt The Squeeze Technique
This method allows both partners to work together to stop that orgasm from happening too soon. Have your partner tell you when the sensation to ejaculate begins, then squeeze the end of the penis until the urge passes, as recommended by Mayo Clinic. You can carry on with what you were doing after waiting about 30 seconds to make sure you're in the safety zone.
5. Use Condoms
Sometimes, just using a condom is enough to slow down the time it takes for a man to orgasm. But if that trick has lost its magic, Men's Fitness suggests trying a condom with benzocaine to dull sensitivity and make the love last longer.
6. Experiment With Foreplay
Work with your partner to see if the amount of foreplay is related to the amount of time it takes before he ejaculates. Try seeing if a little more or a little less foreplay will help him last longer, suggested Psychology Today. Once you find the sweet spot, you should be good to go (and go and go).
7. Pregame With Alone Time
Know your gonna get it on tonight? Have your man pleasure himself in the morning. According to Everyday Health, masturbating more often helps a man last longer in bed, because he learns his body's responses. Bonus: this tip works for guys and girls.
8. Wait On Penetration
Try to hold off on penetration for as long as possible. Mayo Clinic suggested, "avoiding intercourse for a period of time and focusing on other types of sexual play" can prolong the time before ejaculation occurs.
9. Try Medication
There are some medications which help men control premature ejaculation. According to the American Urological Association, your partner should consult with his doctor to see if a prescription drug would be right for his early ejaculation.
10. Think Boring Thoughts
Although I'm not a big fan of this one, since it is asking your partner to disengage from having sex with you, sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do. National Health Services recommended thinking boring thoughts to avoid early ejaculation. Doing so gives your partner's mind a break from the race to orgasm.
11. Talk About Feelings
It could be that early ejaculation is all in your partner's head. According to Psychology Today, "early sexual experiences may establish a pattern that can be difficult to change later in life." Which means feelings of guilt and rushing to avoiding being discovered may be linked to a speedy ejaculation.
Talk to your partner about what feelings they may associate with sex, and see if you can help them create a new outlook.