To be honest, one of my biggest fears is becoming a parent. I've always been on the fence about it, because I question if I'll be able to be a good parent to my children. Though it may just be my insecurities talking, realizing that so many things change when you have children scares me. Knowing that I want to set the best possible example for my children makes me nervous because I'm not sure if I'm doing that now. I'm actually not ashamed to admit that I've spent time researching how to know you'll be a good parent in the past.
As I've gotten older though, my fears have subsided and I've gotten excited about one day becoming a parent. What really decreased my fear and anxiety about becoming a parent was seeing my sister — who shares a lot of the characteristics and traits with me— become a parent, and be a badass at it. Seeing her naturally transition herself to be the best version of herself for her daughter has given me motivation, encouragement, and a sense of security to know that I will be just as incredible as she is when my time to be a parent comes.
If you're a little on the edge about whether or not parenting is something you'll be good at, these 13 signs should put you at ease.
1. You Have A Lot Of Patience
Becoming a parent means you'll have to endure hearing the same questions over and over again and deal with children doing things that you've already told them not to. Babble noted that mastering patience as a parent first starts with having patience with yourself. If you have a good level of patience now, then that's a good start to parenthood.
2. You Know When To Say "No"
According to Life Hack, knowing how to say "no" is a key factor in knowing that you'll be a good parent. Knowing how to say "no" now will give you the confidence to say it for the right reasons in the future.
3. You're Empathetic & Compassionate
Knowing how to be compassionate and empathetic towards others is a sign that you'll be a good parent, because you'll be able to show your children that you genuinely care. According to Parenting, being compassionate to your child teaches them how to treat things with care and helps him to understand that actions have consequences. So, whether it's because they failed a test or got their heartbroken, you'll be able to give them the care that they need because you're familiar with it now.
4. You Know How To Make Something Out Of Nothing
When money is tight now, how do you react? Can you grocery shop on a $20 budget, or do you go crazy in the grocery store every time? When I was growing up, one thing I learned from my mother was the ability to make a little bit of anything stretch for as long as it needed to. Knowing how to do this before you have children will come in handy when you do have them.
5. You Know The Importance Of Self-Love
According to TUT, having self-love is not selfish. The site noted that having self-love is actually is a one of the best things you can give to your children because it is in self-love that they are able to be motivated to doing greater things. Self-love is an indicator to being a good parent because you'll be able to pass that same knowledge down to your little ones.
6. You Encourage Others
Kids go through a lot, so providing them with encouraging words or creating moments to assure them that things will be OK is definitely needed. Keep practicing on yourself, your friends, your stuffed animals, and all the strangers you meet; it'll come in handy sooner than you think.
7. You Know That Mistakes Are Made, And That's OK
As adults, it's hard to admit and accept that mistakes are apart of life. However, if you can come to a place where you realize that it's OK to make mistakes and there's always a way to move past them, you've conquered a portion of life that many people never do. Being able to let your children know that it's perfectly fine to not be perfect is well needed.
8. You Have No Problem Sharing Your Food
I can honestly say that even as an adult, every time I see my mom with food, I want to know what she has and if I can taste it. And, like always, she gives me a piece without second thought. If you have no issue with sharing your food now, then you'll make out just fine as a parent.
9. You Love To Make Others Happy
According to research conducted by Berkley University, people who practiced kindness regularly increased their own happiness in the end. Being a parent requires you to often sacrifice doing things for yourself to see your children happy, and if you're like my mom, the feeling that comes from seeing them smile is your happiness.
10. You Love Kids Of All Ages
Obviously, kids grow up and with the change of age, comes the change of attitudes and habits. If you can honestly say that you love children at whatever stage they're at, parenting is a good fit for you.
11. You Know How To Keep Calm In A Crisis
A few years ago, my younger brother got really, really sick. It was completely unexpected and nearly fatal. Through all of doctor's visits, bad reports, money going out, and scary moments, my parents managed to stay calm, keep my sister and I in a positive place, and revealed a type of strength that only a parent can truly have for their children. Being able to stay calm in the midst of a crisis when everyone else is freaking out, comes in handy as a parent.
12. You Still Use Your Imagination
As we become adults, the need to use our creativity or imagination is limited. Being able to still have your creative side and find ways to use your imagination helps when you have children because it helps them use their creativity at their highest level. "We all have creative potential," psychologist Mark Runco, director of the University of Georgia's Torrance Center for Creativity & Talent Development, told Parenting. " Our jobs as parents and teachers is to help kids fulfill it."
13. You're OK With Never Being Alone
Though some people prefer spending time alone, those who choose to have children have to get used to the fact that they will have limited alone time for the rest of their lives. To be quite honest, I still sit on the top of the toilet when my mom is in the shower like I did when I was a little girl. If you're looking to have a lot of private time, you may want to hold off on having children for a while.