Breastsleeping is a wonderful way to bond with your baby and care for them throughout the night. The sleep arrangement isn't for everyone, but there are many parents that find it fits nicely into their lifestyles. Some families report sleeping more soundly while breastsleeping, and many are in favor of the familial closeness it brings. But what if closeness with the baby causes your sex life to suffer? If you're considering the arrangement, or practicing it already, you may be wondering how to make time for sex while breastsleeping?
Most women are given the green light to have sex at six week postpartum, according to the Mayo Clinic. Just because you can, however, doesn't mean you should. Every woman heals differently from pregnancy and childbirth and everyone's experience is different. Talking to your doctor about your sexual concerns is a good first step towards easing into sex again while breastsleeping.
If healing isn't an issue and you're rearing to go, but can't seem to find time with breastsleeping, then it's time to get creative. Finding time for sex isn't necessarily about the minutes on the clock, it's more often about redefining how you do it and where you do it. To help you get started, here are seven tips for making time to have sex while you're breastsleeping that don't involve the anti-spontaneous "scheduling it" notion, or giving up on sex completely.
1. Remember That Doesn't Always Have To Be Intercourse
Submit to the idea that you don't necessarily have to carve out a chunk of time to have full-blown sex. Instead you can try things that are typically faster like oral sex, hand jobs for men or fingering for women, and using toys. Not only are they time savers, these sex acts provide nice ways to ease into sex for healing mamas who've had difficult deliveries, tearing, or C-sections.
2. Utilize Nap Time
Are you typically a night time lover? Does the thought of doing it in front of your baby freak you out? If yes to both, try to work out the kinks (pun intended) during nap time. A baby can nap for as long as four hours or as short as 30 minutes, according to Baby Center.
Sure, a nap time rendezvous might be considerably shorter than an evening one, but this isn't the time to be picky unfortunately. Nap time is your new sexy time if you want to get it in.
3. Do It With The Baby In The Room
Talk about a time saver. If you're cool with doing it while your baby is in the room, then just go for it. That being said, it's probably not a great idea to have sex in the bed while the baby is also in it for safety reasons. As an alternative, you could put some blankets and pillows down on the floor or use a chair if you have one in your room. If you really want to use the bed, just place the baby down in a bassinet until you're done. As long as the baby is safe and secure, you're not psychologically damaging your baby by getting it on in the same room, according to Baby Center.
4. Go Outside Of The Bedroom
You have to think outside of the box, or rather, bedroom when you are breastsleeping. For some sex inspiration, you could try having sex in a bath tub, the shower, on top of the washing machine, the kitchen table, or a couch, as listed on Cafe Mom. Again, as long as the baby is in a safe position somewhere (awake or asleep), you're good to go.
5. Have Someone Watch Your Baby
Asking for help will help you carve out a specific time for sex. This may require a bit of planning, coordinating, and scheduling, but it's not impossible. If you have family or friends around see if they'll come over to watch the baby for a little bit and sneak off with your partner somewhere to do it.
6. Embrace Quickies
Quickies are not necessarily ideal all of the time, as they often leave out important foreplay, but once in awhile won't hurt. As a bonus, the benefits of quickies are thought to go far beyond just saving time.
"Having a quickie will prove that you will try out exciting things and will tell your partner that he/she can look forward to a relationship that is not humdrum in the slightest," Audrey Hope, a celebrity relationship expert tells Romper. Win-win.
7. You Don't HAVE To Make Time For Sex
There is no real timeline for getting back into having sex. If you're saying you don't have time for sex, maybe what you're saying is you just don't want to — and that's totally OK. Moms of babies, breastsleeping and otherwise, don't want to have sex for several reasons including. Additionally, haywire postpartum hormones may cause your libido may take a dive, according to What To Expect.
You don't owe anyone sex, including your partner or spouse, so take all of the time you need. When you're truly ready to be sexual again, you'll make time for sex, whether you're breastsleeping or not. Most importantly, there are so many ways to be intimate and close with your partner that don't take time (or sex), they just take effort and an open mind.