How satisfied (or unsatisfied) you are in your sex life can influence the type of sexual decision makers you kids grow up to become. Your feelings and experiences with sex form the attitude you project about the subject and sway the conversations you have with your child. You might not realize how your sex life affects your kids later in life, but since you are their primary model for behavior, all aspects of your life can inform who they become as a teen and adult. Depending on how you feel about your personal sex life, the talks and influence you have on your child's sexual decisions can vary.
When you break it down, it's easy to see how parental attitudes affect children's decisions. Simply put, if your approach to sex is open and positive, your child is more likely to display the same feelings and be confident in their sex life. However, the more negative and judgmental the parent feels about sex can make children seek out answers to their sexual questions from less reputable sources, such as peers or the internet. Gathering information from the wrong places can lead to misinformation and poor sexual health for kids once they become sexually active.
To encourage openness and safety in your child's sexual relationships, consider the ways your sex life is influencing your child later in life so you can help prepare them to be good decision makers.
1. It Makes You A Resource
How comfortable or uncomfortable you feel with your own sex life can translate to how your child understands and views sexual relationships. As Mayo Clinic pointed out, you can be an honest and accurate resource about sex for your kids. The key is to push through your own discomfort in order to answer the tough questions kids may throw at you. Better they hear it from you than friends, the internet or movies.
2. It Fosters Sex-Positive Attitudes
You may not have all the answers, but you attitude and approach to sex can help your child make healthy choices. Setting a sex-positive tone lets you child know they can trust you to talk honestly about sex, according to the website for National Health Services. Keeping an open and nonjudgemental conversation going shows you child that sex can be talked about without shame.
3. It Helps With Confidence
If your sex life feels like it has too many don'ts, then your child may not understand how to enjoy healthy relationships and enjoy sex without guilt. As the website for Healthy Children suggested, try focusing on the do's of positive sexual relationships, such as keeping both partners sexually healthy and mutual respect.
4. It Creates Smart Decision Makers
Once you give your kids the "do's," for safe sex, they have the tools to become smart decision makers. As Planned Parenthood pointed out, "teens who report having good conversations with their parents about sex are more likely to delay sexual activity, have fewer partners, and use condoms and other contraceptives when they do have sex."
5. It Influences Relationships
When your sex life is not satisfying, the relationship between you and your partner can suffer, according to Today's Parents. As parents, the way you model adult relationships inform how your children perceive partnerships. These ideas could carry over into adulthood and influence the type of relationships your children have.
6. It Encourages Them To Protect Themselves
Feeling confident and satisfied in your sex life will translate to meaningful conversations about sex with your child that can help to keep them safe. "Confident, loving parent-child communication leads to improved contraceptive and condom use," according to the website for Advocates For Youth.
7. It Prevents Risky Behaviors
Just as being confident can help to promote safe choices with kids, avoiding talking about sex and projecting a negative attitude about sex can have the opposite effect. According to Psychology Today, if the primary source of sexual information is not the parent, kids are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors such as not using protection with multiple partners and using drugs as a part of their sexual experience.