Being a new mom means (usually) sacrificing basic integrity in the name of survival. Kids are equally parts draining and exhilarating (but totally worth it, FYI). I wouldn't dare say I'm a "seasoned" mom, but I've managed to squeeze out two littles in the last ten years and have learned a thing or two — some of which could be a book's length of pick-up lines for new moms. We're our own special breed, aren't we? (In an amazing, inspiredway, of course.)
I admit, when I was a brand new mom I didn't know what the hell I was doing. It's honestly a miracle everyone came out alive (barely). Going from single lady with a zest for life to instant mom and caregiver, well, you could say we had a transitional period (that we're still working through). I can't tell you how often I ate crumbs from the floor, wore the same shirt to avoid laundry, and "conveniently" turned the monitor off when I had to get an extra few minutes of sleep. By the time my second baby was born I thought I was completely prepared, but it really wasn't much easier. As it turns out, it's pretty tricky to nurse a newborn while playing with your 5-year-old, but I digress.
My partner has always been supportive and though he works endless hours, leaving me to the kids, chores, errands, and additional stresses all to my lonesome, if he ever wanted to woo me all he'd have to do is spit out a fresh pick-up line such as any of the below. Get ready to have your socks knocked clean off (just don't ask me to pick up after you).