I Kicked My Nurse Out Of The Delivery Room Because She Treated Me Like Crap

By
Share
Ad failed to load

I don’t remember many of the nurses who filed in and out of the delivery room when I was in labor with my son. I was there for nearly 19 hours before giving birth, and there were multiple shifts turning over during the time I was in labor. Most were kind, my night nurse was amazingly attentive and excited for me, but there was one that stood out above the rest. I remember the moment she switched shifts and walked brusquely into the room, and the terrible hours that ensued after her arrival. Until I finally said enough and kicked my nurse out of the delivery room, and requested someone new.

I’ve now had three children, with completely different birth teams each time, and I know without a doubt that I made the right choice kicking that nurse out of the delivery room when my son was born. I have had nurses who were rockstars; women who I wanted to invite over to Thanksgiving dinner because by the end of giving birth I felt like they were family. I’ve had nurses who were a little rough with checking dilation and didn’t offer much conversation, but were always respectful and kind, even if they were simply doing their job and I was just another patient. It’s a demanding job, I get it.

Courtesy of Gemma Hartley
Ad failed to load

However, no one held a candle to the nurse who I had to kick out of the delivery room. As soon as she walked into the room, I could feel the energy change. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe there was something else going on, but I was stuck with her for the next eight hours, and it was clear that I wasn’t going to have a good time. By this point in labor, my water had been broken and I was starting to have incredibly painful contractions. She put me on pitocin, despite my protests, saying I didn’t have a choice now that my water was broken. There was no explanation as to why, she simply went ahead and did it. Then when my contractions worsened she asked if I was getting an epidural. I told her no. I was aiming for a natural birth. I had been psyching myself up for birthing without an epidural for months now.

“You should get the epidural,” she told me. “How much longer do you think you’re going to make it like this?” she asked, knowing I couldn’t answer because I was riding the wave of another horrific contraction. I gripped the railing at the side of my bed while she watched me with indifference. When it was over, she asked me again.

Courtesy of Gemma Hartley
Ad failed to load

I told her I wanted to keep trying to go on without an epidural. She clearly didn’t approve of my choice but suggested I take demerol, describing it as tylenol in my IV. I had never heard of it, and had no idea it was a powerful opiate that would make me completely lose control of my mind and body. Not only did it not help the pain, it made me less capable of dealing with the contractions. I couldn’t focus on my breathing. I could barely focus on my husband’s face next to me.

I waited until I was able to get my next dose of demerol, hoping that the second dose would work a little better. I was dying for some relief. But when I told her I needed more medication, she told me I couldn’t have it. I could have the epidural instead, but I wasn’t anywhere near the time to get another dose of demerol. I was. I was nearly an hour overdue for it. She didn’t care about my pain. She didn’t offer a shred of sympathy as I cried through contractions. She seemed annoyed by how difficult it was for me to give birth. Annoyed that I wasn’t out of there yet.

When she left the room after denying my request for medication, I asked my mother to go out and request a new nurse. I couldn’t take any more of her rude attitude or disregard for my feelings and pain. I understood that she had a job to do, but so did I, and I couldn’t labor like I needed to with her in the room. I wanted her out.

Ad failed to load

The new nurse came in cheerfully, overcompensating for the bad experience I had before her arrival. It was an unnecessary amount of exuberance — I didn’t need a birth cheerleader — but I was nonetheless grateful. All I wanted was people who I felt would listen to me and support me. I needed people I felt comfortable with. So I don’t regret kicking out that nurse, and if I could do it again I would do it sooner. It may be her job, but it’s my birth — and I get the final say in who stays and who goes.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

8 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say That, Yes, You Are Their Favorite

For a baby to show a preference for a specific person is not only normal, but an essential part of their development. Babies need to form strong attachments to their caregivers for their emotional, social, and physical wellbeing. Usually, but not alw…
By Kimmie Fink

10 Reasons Why I Won't Apologize For Giving My Toddler A Pacifier

My first child had no interest in a pacifier. I tried a couple times to get him to take one, but he always spat them out and gave me an incredulous, judgmental look. But my second? It was love at first suckle. And after a while, the incredulous, judg…
By Jamie Kenney

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills
)}