I believe in masturbating, and I wish I did it more often. I don’t always set time aside for myself to partake in the act of pleasuring myself. Despite knowing that it’s important for myself, I just don’t put it as a priority on my list. It’s kind of something I do whenever I can find a moment, which is pretty rare, so I wanted to try to schedule masturbating for myself every day for two weeks. If anything, it would be a little stress reliever, and some fun.
When I first started masturbating, I think I was about 12 years old. I didn’t really know what it was at the time, aside from the fact that I knew that I liked the feeling of it. I assumed my parents wouldn’t like me doing it, since it involved my vagina and touching it. We never actually talked about sex growing up, not until I was much older. The sex conversation essentially went a little something like this: “We are ashamed that you’re having sex outside of marriage,” and that was the end of that. I’ve always been under the impression that if it feels good, and it’s a natural part of us, it is something we’re suppose to take part in. We shouldn’t feel bad about wanting to please ourselves, and explore our own bodies. For the last 10 years, I’ve been working hard on learning how to love my body through masturbation. I know that I love it, respect the process, and appreciate what it does for me. I’m aware that I could probably stand to do it a bit more, but I have never really made steps to make it part of my everyday routine.
For the next two weeks I was going to make time, no matter how busy I got, to masturbate. My feelings were mixed, with mostly excitement about what I was embarking on, I definitely had some reservations. What if I found myself fatigued? Or frustrated with having to masturbate? Either way, I was going to see this experiment through to the end.
Day 1 And Day 2
I thought I'd start things off by masturbating in a place I never had masturbated before, which was perfect since my children wouldn’t leave me alone that day after school. I masturbated in the shower, which I hear people do often, but I had never done it! I think mostly because I’m lazy and I like activities where I can lay down the whole time. Which is exactly how I masturbate every time without fail, but this experiment is all about the new.
I enjoyed the shower masturbating, until I didn’t. I felt like it was taking too long, and like I said, I’m lazy. I got tired of standing. Sitting wasn’t an option though because the tile felt too cold, but believe me, I tried. Even though I didn't love standing up, I still did successfully masturbate! It wasn’t as relaxing as I had imagined, but I checked day one off my schedule.
Day two, however, was a bit more complicated. It was hard to find time because I had a heavy workload to finish, and every time I thought I would take a break to masturbate, I instead took a break to watch videos of cute koalas crying and cats hitting each other. Let me tell you something: nothing is less sexy than crying over cute tiny animals. Eventually I forced myself to pull away from work and videos of the sweetest animals to look at my Tumblr app. I use Tumblr for inspiration, obviously, but I also use it to follow other Tumblr pages that post porn gifs. Because, why not? That definitely helped me switch modes to masturbate.
I wasn't exactly keeping count, but after using Tumblr, I think I'd masturbated like three times at this point, which was pretty awesome.
On day three I masturbated first thing when I woke up. My day was too full to find time to fit it in, so I figured I'd knock it our first thing in the morning so this way I wouldn't have to stress finding time to fit it in. Normally I rarely masturbate when I wake up because I usually like to lay in bed on my phone reading nonsense, trying to draw out my time in bed for as long as possible.
I had set my alarm so I had enough time to rub one out. I liked it so much though, that I actually found time later in the day to masturbate again. Because of this I thought, “Margaret, you’re so good at this experiment, you don’t even need to finish it! You OBVIOUSLY are going to make time to masturbate everyday."
Day 4 And 5:
After my streak on day two and three, I came down with a cold on day four. It was the absolute worst thing that could happen because the last thing I wanted to do was masturbate, let alone touch myself. I wanted to stay wrapped up in blankets, curled up. Having a cold is definitely not sexy, with all of that snot and phlegm. Ugh. Just typing that out makes me cringe. The day before I'd thought that I was so good at pleasuring myself all the time, but today I thought was, “I hate this! Why, why, why did I sign up for this?!”
I tried watching porn, thinking of the normal things that turned me on, but really the only thing doing it for me was hot tea and soup. (?!?!?) Even though I wasn't feeling good at all, I still masturbated. I powered hrough the sniffles and body aches. And when I came there was a bit of relief for my body from the pains I'd been feeling. Afterward I instantly fell asleep, in part because I was so relieved I'd followed through with my commitment.
I spent most of my weekend days shuffling through work and parenting and looking forward to bed because my cold was still lingering. I fit masturbating in in the morning, trying to get through it as quickly as possible. It started to feel like a chore and frankly, I wasn't really even enjoying doing it. I was still so sick that I wasn’t the most excited about it. Yet, every time when I finished, I was pretty happy that I'd done the deed. It was a weird feeling: I wasn't into doing it, but after it was over, I was glad I had.
Day 8 And Day 9
After the weekend was over I was finally feeling better, so as a reward, I brought out my magic wand to accompany my self-exploration. Despite owning the wand for over a year, I still forget to use it. To be honest, I’m pretty old-fashioned and rely mainly on my fingers when I masturbate. Why I only use this “tool” every once in awhile is beyond me, because it really is magic. Like pure, lovely magic.
I deserved every one of the times I masturbated and took time away from my children to do so. Not only did it make me feel like I was an actual sexy being, it made my body feel healthy.
On day nine I remembered why I was psyched about this experiment. I made time later in the day to masturbate with the wand again just so I could experience all the magic for a second time. I'll admit I got a little carried away and forgot to turn in work on time. Basically, I fell into a state of bliss. The wand did the work, and it was amazing. I felt so good that I had to make myself a note to make sure I remembered to come back down to earth. After using the wand a few times, I knew I was going to need the reminder.
Day 10 And Day 11
I had another early morning masturbating session before I had to take the kids to school, and I feel like day 10 marked the first time in this experiment that I was the most distracted. I couldn’t seem to concentrate on what I was doing because I was worried about not waking the kids up in time for school, and I couldn’t remember if we had gotten cereal for breakfast. I might have damaged my vagina a bit with how fast and hard I was rubbing. I was basically like, “JUST COME, MARGARET, SO YOU CAN DO YOUR SHIT!” And I did climax, but it was stressful as hell.
Later that night when I was looking at my schedule for the next few days, in order to plan out when I masturbated, I groaned. How was it going to fit in with all the things I planned for myself?! Masturbating every day was beginning to feel like a chore rather than a pleasurable moment reserved for me whenever I wanted it. The more frustrated I got with trying to fit it in, the less and less I was looking forward to doing it.
I was moving into the final days of my experiment and it was becoming more and more hectic for me to fit in time to masturbate. Still, each day I was able to devote about 15 minutes to touching myself. I thought that, with how I had scheduled it, it would be to regimented for me and feel even more like a chore, but I actually looked forward to sneaking away to focus on pleasuring myself in between errands and emails. It was like a tiny break from the daily. I found myself loving myself and my body in these tiny moments. I was admiring myself, feeling giddy over my body. It was enough excitement to keep me looking forward to doing it again the next day.
Day 13 fell on a Saturday and because I was alone most of day I took my time with my pleasure. Like, I really dragged it out. This was the first day out of the two weeks that I had really been able to do this. It felt a bit uncharted, I wasn’t really sure what it would be like, aside from the fact that I knew I would love it. I included the magic wand in my exploration (duh), along with a dildo I had only used about five times so far.
As someone who masturbates pretty often, I was surprised when I learned new things about my body, like, what felt good, and what I never thought I would really enjoy. I’d never actually used a dildo on my own, not because I didn’t want to, but I had always been content with my fingers. I was amazed to discover that I enjoyed using toys on myself. I was really excited to be reminded that I still have a lifetime to figure out my body, especially when it comes to pleasing myself. I loved that.
This was the last day of my two-week excursion. I had children around all day, so I bribed them to leave me alone by letting them watch ridiculous YouTube videos in their room. There’s something weird about masturbating in the room next to your kids, but you also just have to do what you have to do. I took my time, similar to the day before, since I knew it was going to be my last day of the experiment. I watched all my favorite porn and allowed myself to just be. I didn’t rush any orgasms, but I let them come as they did. My body felt so loved and so taken care of. I was left with a state of appreciation and gratitude for myself.
What Happened As A Result
I was already aware that I loved masturbating, but I guess I kind of assumed that I wouldn’t really learn anything "new" from this experience. Yet, unsurprisingly, I did. I learned about new parts of myself and I learned that my body has many more ways of being loved that I didn’t really know about. Since finishing the two-week exploration into pleasure, I’ve made much more time to masturbate and focus on my body. I’ve watched myself create an even more loving relationship with myself. I think that was something I was close doing, but wasn’t quite there. Masturbating helped me get there.
I learned that, as a mom, I do have to try a little more at times to take care of my body, but I also learned that doing so wasn’t impossible. I deserved every one of the times I masturbated and took time away from my children to do so. Not only did it make me feel like I was an actual sexy being, it made my body feel healthy. It created a calm and peace inside of me. Even in the middle of my stressful life, I found myself feeling grounded and connected to myself.