When a relationship is still pretty new, you typically want to do your best to put your best foot forward and make a good first impression. You're careful what you do or say, not because you're trying to hide parts of yourself from your partner or be dishonest, but because you don't want to do or say anything that's embarrassing, particularly in front of someone that you still might not be the *most* comfortable with. After awhile, though, even the embarrassing things have to happen. If you do these embarrassing things in front of your partner, they're ride or die. Almost assuredly.
Embarrassing yourself in front of anyone can be, well, embarrassing and sometimes even a bit stressful as well, especially if you're somewhat shy. It can take a long time even being comfortable doing some things in front of your closest friends, roommates, and even members of your family. And while your partner often sees you in all manner of undress and at your best and worst, there are still some things that you might be a bit self-conscious about doing in front of them until you feel more certain that they're going to be around for awhile and you're sure you can be the most comfortable about them. Once you start feeling OK letting them see even things by which you're embarrassed, you'll have a much better idea of whether or not the two of you are meant to be.
1. You Can Vomit
Whether you've gotten sick, ended up with food poisoning, or perhaps ate or drank the wrong thing (or a bit too much of it), chances are, at some point over the course of the rest of your life, you might vomit. It can be embarrassing, to be sure, but it's one of those things that happens. Rachel Wright, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Romper by email that if they're going to be the one you spend your life with, you have to be able to do things as embarrassing as vomiting in front of them. No shame here.
2. You Can Fart
If this person's going to be your life partner, passing gas in front of one another is pretty much definitely something that'll happen at one point or another. "You should be able to let it rip without fear of consequence," Alexis Dent, owner of wedding vow writing company XO Juliet, tells Romper by email. At some point, being terrified that you'll pass gas in front of your partner just isn't worth it.
3. You Can Fall
Tripping, stumbling, or bumping into things can happen sometimes and while it can certainly be embarrassing, especially if you don't yet know the person all that well, it shouldn't embarrass you around your partner if they're going to be around long-term. "[I]f you’re going to do life with someone, you need to be able to show all parts of yourself — not just the mid-range, muted side," Wright says.
4. You Can Be Thoroughly Excited Or Thoroughly Gutted
You shouldn't have to temper your feelings — whether excitement or devastation — around your partner, even if you're a little bit embarrassed for them to see you that way. Wright says that if you can "express your inner joy and excitement as big and full as you would with your best friend," then that's a sign that they're likely someone you're going to want to keep around for awhile.
5. You're Not Self-Conscious About Your Table Manners
"Life is too short to worry about how you look eating in front of your significant other," Dent says. Though you might be a bit self-conscious about how well-mannered you are in front of others, when you're trying to make a good impression, or when you're out in public, if you can eat as embarrassingly as you'd like in front of your partner, they're ride or die.
6. You Let The See Your Real Hair, Face, Etc.
If you're embarrassed by your skin without makeup, your natural hairstyle, or anything else about the way you are when you wake up in the morning, you'll know that your partner is someone to keep around when you shed the embarrassment and let them see the real you anyway.
"When you have found the one, you stop obsessively about how you look when you wake up in the morning," Emily Mendez, MS, EdS, a former psychotherapist, expert in psychology, and mental health writer, tells Romper by email. "You realize that your partner will still be around even if you are wear your old torn-up college t-shirt to bed."
7. You Snore
Though some people wouldn't be at all embarrassed by the fact that they snore, others definitely are self-conscious about it. Julie Williamson, LPC, NCC, RPT, a therapist at Abundant Life Counseling St. Louis, LLC, tells Romper in an email exchange that everyone is embarrassed by different things, there's no one-size-fits-all.
"Doing things in front of your partner that you would not normally do in front of others can indicate a high level of comfort and familiarity with your partner," Williamson says. "It can also indicate trust in your partner's view of and commitment to you — that they accept you for who you are, don't expect you to be some perfect superhuman, and love you just the same."
Doing things that you're embarrassed by in front of your partner might not mean that you're *not* actually embarrassed by anything, it just means that — in all likelihood — the two of you make a pretty good match.
Check out Romper's new video series, Bearing The Motherload, where disagreeing parents from different sides of an issue sit down with a mediator and talk about how to support (and not judge) each other’s parenting perspectives. New episodes air Mondays on Facebook.