If You Don’t Really Enjoy Doing These 7 Things With Your Partner, It's A Red Flag
Whether they enjoy a weekly date night or a yearly getaway to a beloved vacation spot, most couples enjoy spending time with one another. On the flip side, if you don't enjoy doing certain things with your partner, then it may be time to address these aspects of your relationship. It's just something to keep in mind as you go through life together.
Now, you aren't going to enjoy every single second of your time spent with a significant other, because you're simply different people. Likewise, there's no need to pressure yourself to like every single thing your partner enjoys. Some people will just never be that into sports, or art museums, or indie films, and that's OK. Plus, it's pretty common for opposite types to attract, so there's a good chance your significant other will see the world differently anyway, as explained in Elite Daily. It's part of their charm.
That said, it's still important to enjoy time with your partner in some way or other. As it turns out, there are a few activities that most partners will enjoy doing together, according to a variety of relationship experts and counselors. Read on to learn more about these important shared activities, and rest assured that Netflix and chill is definitely one of them.
1. Eating Dinner
For many people, there's nothing quite like bonding over a shared meal. "Whether you go out to a restaurant or make dinner in, sharing a meal together should be a time to tell stories and share things about yourself (or even just your day) that bring you and your partner closer together," says Dave Bowden, relationship expert and dating coach at IrreverentGent. If you prefer to have dinner alone because you don't enjoy your partner's company for whatever reason, then it may be a sign to look closely at your relationship, as Bowden further explains.
2. Having Deep Conversations
This doesn't mean you have to discuss your deepest, darkest secrets every single day. But for the most part, couples can share meaningful talks from time to time. "Having deep conversations is a key to strong relationships," says licensed therapist and relationship expert Dr. Kia James of Relationship Boosters. If you and your SO have a hard time managing deeper conversations, then consider meeting with a couples therapist for advice.
3. Completing Everyday Tasks
Granted, nobody is all that thrilled to buy groceries or take out the trash. But for the most part, a happy couple can make these chores more tolerable for one another. "Relationships really exist in the everydayness of life," says psychotherapist Kristina Ferrari. "The best couples find ways to stay connected while they attend to chores, tasks and the more mundane elements that are required to keep our lives functioning." To liven up everyday chores, turn cleaning day into a dance party or try to get everything done by a certain time, as noted in Bustle. By making a game of the whole thing, you and your partner can get in some bonding time while you scrub the tub.
4. Supporting Your Partner's Interests
No, you don't have to become a champion skier or Dungeons & Dragons expert just to make your partner happy. It's totally expected that two different people will have their own interests. Still, showing your support for their hobbies and passions is vital. "Participating in the activities that our partner enjoys most fuels connection. This could run the gamut from actually engaging in the sport or hobby of our significant other's liking, to spectating, to simply asking questions and creating the conditions that allow them to do what they love," says Ferrari. If you and your partner struggle with balancing hobby time with couple time, then consider speaking with a couples counselor for insight and advice.
5. Chilling At Home
Can you and your partner just chill out together, not doing much of anything? "If you can’t just be laid back and relaxed with your partner, it’s a bad sign," says relationship coach Crystal Irom. "It’s not to say its ideal to sit home every night and just watch Netflix, but if you find yourself needing to be around other people or very active to enjoy your partner, there may be a barrier to intimacy that you’re trying to cover." If this is a concern, then consider some ways to reconnect with your partner, such as sharing inside jokes or performing small acts of love, according to Psych Central. Even if you do drift, reconnecting is totally possible.
6. Being Intimate
Unless you're both asexual people, intimacy is a pretty important part of most romantic relationships. "Intimacy is an expression of love and if they don't enjoy it, they should see someone that can help them make it more pleasurable," says certified love coach and relationship expert Jacqui Rubinoff. As Rubinoff suggests, it's totally fine to meet with a therapist or counselor to get your private life back on track.
7. Vacationing Together
Granted, some people just don't enjoy traveling that much, and that's OK. But for many couples, being able to spend some vacation time together is vital. "Spontaneity is important in the long run for happy relationships, so if you’re miserable when you’re traveling or doing something new together, it may point towards a bigger issue of compatibility," says Irom. Again, if this or any other aspect of the relationship gives you concern, then consider working it out together in therapy. Even when they do come up, these issues in a relationship don't have to last forever.