If You Get Nervous Saying These 5 Things To Your Partner, They Aren’t The One
For the most part, you should feel free to talk about nearly anything in a healthy relationship. It's a conversational free-for-all. So if you feel uncomfortable saying certain things to your partner, then it may be time to reconsider the relationship. In general, it's best to be with someone who is happy to discuss anything and everything with you.
Of course, these communication needs apply more to long-term, serious relationships. Nobody expects you to bust out with an "I love you" the first time you meet a Tinder date. These conversations take place over time, and it happens at a difference pace for everyone. But as a relationship progresses, it's only natural to open up and express yourself more.
Granted, communicating openly in a relationship isn't the easiest thing for everyone. Some people are simply more reserved than others, or they come from backgrounds where emotional expression is pretty limited. But in general, couples do well to communicate their needs to one another. It's the best way to establish boundaries, express your feelings, or even learn embarrassing childhood stories about your significant other. Read on to learn more about the topics couples in a healthy relationship should be able to talk about.
1. "Here Is My Phone Passcode."
This shows tremendous confidence in your relationship. "Say that without flinching and then hand over the device and you know you trust them," says Tim Toterhi, a TEDx speaker, ICF certified coach, and author. "Whether or not your trust is well founded . . . well that’s another matter." If they don't immediately look up your search history and laugh, then that's another positive sign.
2. "This Is What I Like In Bed."
Ideally, this is an open and ongoing conversation. "Tell them what you like, what you don't like, if there is something you want to try out or explore," says Lucy Harris of Hello Baby Bump. In a healthy relationship, you can discuss and respect one another's preferences in bed, and ideally work to make everyone happy.
3. "I Love You."
If you're at this point in a serious relationship, then dropping the "love" word shouldn't freak you out. "For example, a person should certainly feel safe to express their love to their partner, if they truly feel that love and mean it," says Jen Mattiola, personal development coach. A healthy relationship will be one that encourages your expression of emotion.
4. "This Is My Struggle."
Can you honestly discuss your struggles and weaknesses with this person? "If you feel you have to hide internal struggles or weaknesses from your mate out of fear that they would think less of you, then you are with the wrong person," says Marlena Cole, professional relationship expert, strategist & life coach. The right partner will support you.
This may be the most important word in the world when it comes to setting your boundaries. "You should be able to say no without having to apologize or explain yourself," says Melissa M. Snow, certified life coach. But if you can openly express yourself to your partner, and even tell them no in some circumstances, then you're probably in a healthy place.