It's completely normal and healthy for you to sometimes want to do things without your partner. Doing everything together all day, every day, likely isn't super great for either of you. You need your own interests and your own things. That being said, there are some things that you're better off doing with your partner, for a variety of reasons. Each couple is different, so just because you and your partner don't like to do something together that another couple does (or vice versa), that doesn't necessarily mean anything, but if you want to do these things without your partner, they're not your soulmate, generally speaking.
Every relationship is different, Heidi McBain, MA, LMFT, LPC, RPT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Romper by email. So, again, it can be difficult to know for sure what might work for one couple as opposed to being a red flag for potential relationship difficulties. Erin Parisi, LMHC, CAP, a licensed mental health counselor, tells Romper by email that even if you see evidence of these behaviors in your own relationship, that doesn't necessarily mean that all hope is lost.
"There may be a legitimate reason, I know it’s not a one-size-fits-all," Parisi says. "Along the same lines, a person not wanting to do these things with their partner may not be about their partner at all, but it might be more about themselves. It’s easier to blame the person that we’re dating, cut them off, and complain about how there're no good people available to date than to look at why we’re not attracting the right people, or whether we may be pushing away the good ones, somehow. So. Many. Defense. Mechanisms. Being vulnerable is really scary, and so many of us get in our own way."
Parisi also says that she prefers to look at things as though there are a number of people who might be a good fit for you, rather than focusing only on searching for someone who's an absolutely perfect fit.
If you and your partner choose to do these things separately, it may not mean that your relationship is definitely doomed, but it certainly might mean that there are some things that you need to address.