When you and your partner first start dating, you probably both go out of your way to do little things for the other. But sometimes, some of those cute, sweet, affectionate gestures can fade away a bit as the relationship progresses and you get bogged down with everyday responsibilities and the like. That doesn't necessarily mean that your relationship isn't going to last, however. Still, if your partner doesn't do these little things for you, they aren't the one, which is important to take note of when determining if your relationship might be long-lasting or, ultimately, more short-lived.
Sometimes, the little things that you and your partner should do for one another are more significant than the sweet gestures that might have been more common in the early, so-called "honeymoon phase" of your relationship. Things like encouraging you to join them when they're spending time with their closest friends or family members, thinking about your schedule when they're making plans (whether you're invited to the event or not), and keeping private, vulnerable things you tell them to themselves go beyond bringing flowers or making you dinner. Knowing which sorts of things are things that the person who is your soulmate would do for you that someone who isn't the one for you wouldn't can help you reflect on your own relationship in a different way and help you figure out if the two of you really might be soulmates or not.
1Consider You When Making Plans
The person that you're meant to be with will consider you when they're making plans. If they're not doing this, preferring to spend time with their friends and family or doing things that they like, but that you don't and insisting on keeping those plans when you suggest doing something together, that could be a sign that they're actually not you're soulmate after all, Stef Safran, a matchmaker, dating expert, and owner of Stef and the City, tells Romper by email. They should want to spend time with you, not prioritize spending time away.
2Acknowledge Your Accomplishments
"While you may not be the type to ask for validation when you've done something great, it is still important for your partner to give credit where credit is due," Rori Sassoon, a relationship expert and co-founder of Platinum Poire, tells Romper by email. "The excitement they express will motivate you more to continue striving!"
If your partner isn't able to acknowledge the things that you do, professionally, at home, for yourself, or for the two of you as a couple, they might not be the right person. Supportive partners celebrate each other, even when it's something that seems minor.
3Think About Your Relationship's Future
If your partner isn't willing to discuss your relationship's future or won't even spend time thinking about how you might fit into their own future plans, that too could be a sign that the two of you aren't meant to be.
Safran says that you may have met all of the important figures in their life, but if they still seem unwilling to consider a future, that's not a good sign.
4Keep Your Secrets
It's important for partners keep things to themselves that the other tells them. "When couples have emotional intimacy between them, there is a safety that can be immeasurable and irreplaceable," Allen Wagner, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Romper in an email exchange. If they break that trust that you put in them, even if the secret isn't something that's all that big of a deal, that could potentially be a sign that the two of you won't work long-term. They might not keep other things that you tell them to themselves either.
5Keep Your Insecurities To Themselves
"When one person chooses to either share these vulnerabilities or intimate secrets with friends, family members, or others, it can be tremendously hurtful and feel disloyal to the core," Wagner says. "When a partner uses these same insecurities, or perhaps mistakes in past relationships or business as weapons in conflict, to win arguments at the expense of safety and trust, these things said can be unforgivable."
That's not something that's always easy to move beyond and it could mean that the relationship isn't going to work out in the long-run. Working with a therapist could help you to move forward, even if it doesn't help prolong the relationship.
6Address Conflicts When They Arise
If your partner is unwilling to address conflicts when they arise, that could also be a sign that your relationship isn't going to last, Safran says. Conflicts are part of any relationship, but it's important to address the causes and the issues instead of just hoping they'll go away or pretending that they don't exist in the first place.
7Make You Feel Special On A Regular Basis
"It doesn’t need to be something big, but it’s always important for them to make you feel special and if they forget to do this regularly, then the time span will spread from one week to two and then from two weeks to a month, etc," Sassoon says. You should both make each other feel special consistently. Like Sassoon says, it doesn't have to be a grand gesture, but little things that will make you or them feel special will make a difference. And the person that's your soulmate will do that.
There are so many things that go into determining whether or not your partner might be the person with whom you're meant to be, but if they don't do these little things for you, it might be a sign that things ultimately won't work out for the two of you after all.