When it comes to human sexuality, the definition of normal is pretty broad. As evidenced by the wide variety of adult toys and entertainment available (not to mention the unlimited erotic literature), just about anything could be considered normal. But it’s okay to wonder if your orgasm is normal, especially if something about your climax is causing you concern.
Experiencing orgasms that are painful or suddenly finding yourself unable to climax at all may indicate potential medical problems (or even side effects from medication.) Or it could indicate problems in your relationship, as well as potential issues with self-esteem. Because your emotions, mental state, and physical body are all involved in the creation of an orgasm, anything that seems abnormal could have a number of causes. Whether you have a medical condition that is making your climaxes painful or you’re on a type of medication that zaps your ability to orgasm, there are many factors to consider.
So if you’re perplexed by unusual orgasms, here are some potential warning signs to look out for. Hopefully, the root of your problem will just be something minor and easy to remedy. Because if there’s one thing in life that should be worry-free, it’s orgasms.
1. You Don't Orgasm
If you can't climax no matter how much you try, then you may suffer from anorgasmia. According to Mayo Clinic anorgasmia is the medical term for regular difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation, causing you personal distress. If this is a sudden occurrence, then you may want to check with your doctor to see if it is caused by a medical condition or even side effects from medication.
2. You Have Painful Orgasms
Pain during orgasm can make sex almost impossible. As family planning specialist Dr. David Delvin wrote for Netdoctor, painful orgasms are defined a a woman feeling "severe cramp-like pain in the lower part of her abdomen" as soon as she climaxes. It may be correlated to menopause, gynecological conditions such as endometriosis, or possibly medications such as antidepressants.
3. You Fake It Every Time
This is more of a communication problem than a medical condition, but it can still negatively affect your sex life. "When you fake orgasm, you’re communicating very clearly to you partner that what they’re doing is right,” sex columnist Talie Baurer wrote onthe Huffington Post. “If it’s not working for you and it’s not giving you an orgasm and that’s what you want, then it’s really not fair.” While the occasional fake-O is understandable, routinely pretending you're getting there is really a form of lying.
4. You Are Horny, A Lot
For women who have to deal with a lagging libido, persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) sounds like a dream: you want it pretty much all of the time. "Distinguishing characteristics are genital and breast vasocongestion and sensitivity, with little or no relief form orgasmic experience," according to the Boston University School of Medicine, with long-term consequences that involve "disruptions in occupational, educational and social functioning, a continued sense of shame and isolation, feelings of helplessness, vulnerability and sadness, being awakened in the morning by hot flashes, and a feeling of a lack of normalcy." Yikes! It looks like you can have too much of a good thing. This is another condition that may require a doctor's visit.
5. You Have Headache-Inducing Orgasms
Some women experience terrible headaches following orgasm. "The vast majority of these headaches are totally benign, but it is also possible that they can be caused by a space-occupying lesion in the brain, like a tumor or an aneurysm," headache specialist Merle Diamond told WebMD. So if you suddenly start experiencing brain-splitting headaches after sex, then it might be a good idea to check in with your doctor.
6. You Suffer Postcoital Dysphoria
Do you feel lousy after sex, even if the orgasms were up to par? You aren't alone. Postcoital dysphoria, or "post-sex blues," describes "the experience of negative affect characterized by tearfulness, a sense of melancholy or depression, anxiety, agitation, or aggression following sexual intercourse," according to a 2015 article in Sexual Medicine. This might be a good reason to visit your physician or a therapist to help get your sex life back on track.
7. You Have Inhibition From Past Trauma
Sometimes orgasmic difficulties are more mental than physical. The Boston University School Of Medicine notes that "anxiety associated with past negative sexual experiences may interfere with relaxation, prevent arousal and inhibit orgasmic responses." If your last partner was abusive around sexual topics, then you may benefit from some counseling to get your sexual self-esteem back.