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Jenny Mollen Quotes About Motherhood Are Funny AF

Jenny Mollen and Jason Biggs recently announced that they're expecting a second child, and if nothing else, it should make for great comedy material. Jenny Mollen's quotes about motherhood are hilariously relatable, so if she's not too exhausted to tweet after the new baby's born (a distinct possibility), fans will be in for a treat when she starts sharing her gems on how she feels about doubling her brood. And if you don't already know who Mollen is, you're about to become her newest fan.

The wife of American Pie star Jason Biggs, Mollen is an actress who you might recognize from short arcs on Angel, Girls, or Chicago Fire. Or maybe not. Though she hasn't yet achieved the level of acting success that her husband has, she parlayed her serious Twitter game into a second career writing for Cosmopolitan and Playboy spinoff The Smoking Jacket, and eventually, two books of humor essays: Live Fast Die Hot, a New York Times humor bestseller, and I Like You Just The Way I Am, which was adapted into an ABC web series. If you've ever seen those memes on Facebook about how every mom needs that one friend who's not afraid to tell it like it is, they're talking about Mollen.

Pictured: her latest pregnancy announcement. No, seriously,

Get to know Mollen through these quotes that will have you alternating between hysterical laughter and shouts of "Yasss, girl!"

On Discipline

According to Scary Mommy:

Yesterday my son bit me while I was floating him around the swimming pool. Instead of telling him not to bite, my gut reaction was to dunk him under the water. He was in shock, but I’m fairly certain my point was made.
I always thought I’d be strict about my son watching TV. Now it’s pretty much my favorite thing he does (aside from giving kisses).

On Not Being Prepared For Motherhood

I was never the girl who yearned for children. I pretended to be interested in other people's kids, but that was obviously just an act.
I knew that no matter what I did as a parent, I was bound to do some things wrong.
I was trying to rock him back to sleep, and I was thinking to myself: "Oh my god, I can’t believe one day i’m not going to be supervised doing this. I’m going to have to do this by myself!"

On Childbirth

According to Cosmopolitan:

I tried to stay focused and not picture all the balloon animals he might be making out of my intestines.
I wanted to laugh, sob, and throw up all over myself. I'd burst through the ceiling of whatever kind of love I'd felt in my life and was traveling upward into a stratosphere reserved for heroin junkies and people who write romantic greeting cards.

On Being A Little Imperfect

More from Scary Mommy:

I think I had children as a way of getting out of shit I didn’t want to do.

According to The Huffington Post:

I always think about what he’ll tell his therapist about me and Jason as parents when he’s older.

And Finally, What Motherhood Really Means To Her

I feel like this is what my life has become. I’m just a boob.

Whether poignant or raw or laugh-out-loud funny, Mollen's perspective on parenting is too good to miss. I can't wait to hear what she thinks about dealing with a baby and a toddler at the same time.