Jill Duggar's NSFW Marital Tips Are Raising Some Eyebrows

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Those who were avid fans of TLC's 19 Kids & Counting — and now Counting On — are probably well aware of the Duggar family's guidelines surrounding relationships. Young couples enter into father-approved courtships with strict rules about physical contact. Couples can't kiss, do frontal hugs, or have sex before marriage — and they must be supervised by chaperones at all times. Then, once the courting couple ties the knot, the wife is expected to always be available for sex whenever her husband asks for it. (Thus, 19 kids.) With this in mind, Jill Duggar's NSFW marital tips are raising some eyebrows.

In case you lost track of which Duggar I'm talking about, Jill is fourth in the sibling lineup and was the first sister to walk down the aisle. She exchanged vows with Derick Dillard back in June 2014 — so they've been married not quite five years at this point. The couple has two sons, Israel, and Samuel. Although Jill and Derick were once part of the TLC series, their involvement in the show ended in 2017.

On Monday, June 3, Jill shared a blog post on her family's website titled, "More Than Sex: How To Love Your Husband," People reported. And it's definitely an, erm, interesting read — primarily in the sex department.

"You both need this time together regularly (3-4 times a week is a good start. lol)," Jill writes. "And when you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate. Let your spouse know that you’re aways available."

The former reality TV star goes on to advise readers to avoid "fulfilling sexual desires alone" and to "change things up to keep it exciting." (Which, I'll get on board with the second part of that, for sure.) However, another disturbing section encourages wives to "look nice for him." It goes like this:

It’s easy to get home and throw on the frumpy pjs and wash your makeup off, but make sure that a few times a week you enjoy time together looking like you would hanging out when you were dating! Plus, even if you work from home, just getting fixed up in the morning can give you a boost to your day!

Before I delve in too far, I'd like to point out that there are a few bits of solid advice in Jill's blog post. Communicating with your spouse when you're hurt or offended by something, looking for ways to encourage your spouse, praying for your spouse (if you're the religious type), and making time each day to have uninterrupted time to talk — these are all great aspirations. (Although the uninterrupted talking might be far-fetched when you have children.)

But there are also a number of giant, red flags floating around in there, too. For starters, I'm going to go with a big fat no on the "always available" bit. Because sometimes, it's just not happening. And part of being a good spouse isn't expecting/demanding intimacy when they're dead tired and all touched out. Am I right? And WTF with the "look nice for him" business? When I get home for the day, frumpy pjs and face washing is totally happening and, in every conceivable sense of the phrase, the husband can deal.

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Let's just say plenty of Twitter users were not impressed with Jill's marital advice. One person commented, "Seriously cannot believe what I just read," along with a mind-blown emoji and a cursing, mad-faced emoji.

Another person commented, "They are the last people I would ever take sex advice from."

Yet another person chimed in with, "Two things, what is HE doing to keep HER satisfied and also going to bed with makeup on is bad for your skin and you don’t deserve that girl! Wash that makeup off every night." (Amen!)

It's worth noting the sex advice makes sense coming from Jill — considering Michelle Duggar has practically said the same thing. In a 2015 blog post on the Duggar's website, the family matriarch quoted advice she received from a friend — ahead of her wedding to Jim Bob, writing:

And so be available, and not just available, but be joyfully available for him. Smile and be willing to say, "Yes, sweetie I am here for you," no matter what, even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels. "I’m still here for you and I’m going to meet that need because I know it’s a need for you."

So yeah. Apparently, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

The thing about marital tips is there's no one-size-fits all arrangement. If Jill is perfectly fine living her life this way, then kudos to her. But as for me? Her advice is getting a giant "hell no" from this mom of four who has been married for nine years.