On the surface, being married to Jimmy Kimmel seems like it would be a fairly agreeable existence. I mean, the late night talkshow host is funny, smart, and compassionate — not to mention, he's loaded. Plus, he and Molly McNearney have two adorable kiddos and seem genuinely happy together. Aside from their crazy work schedules, what grievances could the couple possibly have about their marriage? Apparently, Kimmel's mad skills over a hot griddle, that's what. Because Jimmy Kimmel's pancake creations are making his wife crazy, and her essay is a must-read.
As a refresher, Kimmel and his wife Molly McNearney are parents to 3-year-old daughter, Jane. and 10-month-old son, Billy — who has a congenital heart defect, according to E! Online. Those who are familiar with Jimmy Kimmel Live! probably already know that McNearney, is a co-head writer for the show. (And if you didn't, well now you know.) On March 1, an essay written by McNearney was published by The Washington Post — and it's pretty much an anthem for all of the us with annoyingly overachieving partners. Because Kimmel's ridiculously artistic pancake creations are making the busy mom of two feel inadequate, People reported. And after reading her hilarious essay, it isn't hard to see why.
It all started about a year ago when Kimmel began making pancakes for their daughter — which she loved, by the way. When Valentine's Day rolled around, he decided to get little creative and prepared heart-shaped flapjacks for his family. These were soon followed up by a tri-colored pancake in the shape of clown. And it only snowballed from there. "He makes pancakes. And not your average pancakes," McNearney wrote. "He makes art. With pancake batter. Like a lumberjack psychopath."
Then he got aggressive. He made Dory. She was perfect. Next, a full-color Thomas the Tank Engine. He made Nemo and a Spider-Man who, I swear, rolled his eyes at me. He started mixing his batter before bed. He took requests and delighted our daughter, squirting Snoopy, Charlie Brown and even Lightning McQueen the morning after he hosted the Oscars. All realistic, totally edible portrayals.
At this point, you may be sitting there asking yourself, "Wait, what? So what, exactly, is the problem, here?" Because seriously, these pancakes are works of art — and their daughter obviously gets a kick out of them. (I mean, just look at that Thomas and Lightning McQueen!) What could possibly be bad about Kimmel's confectionary masterpieces?
It's the fact that they can't be duplicated when dad isn't around, according to McNearney. "And now his artistic ability has become my burden," the defeated mom of two wrote. "When he isn’t home, our daughter sits at the kitchen table, glares at me and says, 'I want a pancake. Peppa Pig.' She doesn’t even know that pancakes are round." McNearney continued:
I try to sell her on a bowl of oatmeal. I tell her it’s Wonder Woman food. She doesn’t buy it. She demands the edible art she is accustomed to. I cave and nervously promise her a pancake. “I’ll make you a ‘brown ball’!” She looks at me with confusion, followed by pity and then disgust. A tantrum follows.
In her essay, McNearney went on write that she hopes one day, her children will appreciate all of the non-amazing-pancake-related sacrifices she made for them through the years — carrying them, birthing them, and breastfeeding them at all hours of the night, to name a few. "One day they will remember that I always had a snack in my purse and a baby wipe in my glove compartment," she wrote. "They might even thank me for teaching them good manners if I did it successfully." And the clincher:
LOL. Clearly, McNearney's grievances are meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Still, I'm sure many of us can relate to her plight. (Even if it's not with pancakes.) I, too, am a mother who isn't blessed with the same level of culinary skills (nor ambition) as my husband. Granted, my his pancakes are no where near as gorgeous as Kimmel's. Not by a long shot. But they're delicious and cooked to perfection — something that this mama can't compete with. So I don't even try.
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