Julianne Moore has officially joined Michelle Obama and Tina Fey’s exclusive club of Women You You Already Loved, But Now Love So Much More Since They Appeared on Billy on the Street (or WYALBNLSMMSTAoBotS for short). If you’re not familiar with Billy on the Street – and you really should be – I’ll explain. Host Billy Eichner (Craig from Parks and Recreation) drags celebrities around New York City, yells in strangers’ faces, and makes the celebs do outrageous things, often for a dollar. Sometimes he also pays the strangers dollars. Billy loves dollars and yelling, basically, and he is wonderful. And the latest Billy On The Street with Julianne Moore is equally wonderful.
The latest episode takes Eichner and Moore to Times Square. Armed with lines from some of her most iconic roles, Eichner encourages Moore to perform monologues to entertain tourists, and more than once he shoves costumed characters out of the way in order to get at them. A bold move, considering the recent brawls Spider-Man, Minnie Mouse, and Hello Kitty have gotten into. Although you’ll have to send your kids out of the room in order to watch (she says the f-word more times in her Magnolia monologue than I’ve said putting together an entire household of IKEA furniture), it’s definitely worth it. Behold Mega Julianne Moore, more powerful than ever before:
When Moore gets the sniffles while reciting lines from The Kids Are Alright, she turns a real-life nose-wiping into punctuation for her scene. Brilliant! Meanwhile, I'm still over here attempting to perfect that thing where you trip on a crack in the sidewalk and then try to make it look like you were just breaking into a jog.
Oh, hi, need someone to go from zero to sixty in one second flat? Just casually greet a fan and then muster up a passion as fiery as a thousand suns instantly? Julianne's your girl. Notice the woman on the right go from smiling to "Oh, damn," as soon as Moore begins speaking. Also of note: how fast that crowd gathers.
When an out-of-towner doesn't recognize Moore, she doesn't take it personally. Eichner is clearly annoyed AF ("She's worked with Nicole Kidman!"), but Moore cheerfully offers to prove herself by crying on cue.
And About That Crying...
She flat-out sobs on the street for this nice young man. How does she do it?
She Handles Insults With Grace
After being treated to Maude's "vagina" speech from The Big Lebowski (with an accent, no less) Billy asks this fan what he thought of it, to which he replies, "I like the shabbos line." He basically tells Julianne Moore to her face that he prefers John Goodman. Rude. Look at her smiling and nodding! What a class act!
She's Literally Better Than Mario, Spider-Man, and Woody Combined
Look how quickly the crowd brushes off the plumber, teen photographer, and cowboy once Moore shows up. Look how defeated Woody is! The sympathetic look that the little boy gives Spider-Man! "Sorry, dude, but she was in The Hours."
She's Just Hilarious
Watch the whole thing, and marvel at the wonder that is Julianne Moore, queen of Hollywood and our hearts.
Images: Billy on the Street/YouTube, Giphy (6)