The first time a parent leaves their child with a babysitter, they might feel compelled to leave the sitter a handy list of instructions and to call to check in, oh, you know, maybe 10 to 12 times a night. But as the kids get older and parents become a little more desperate for a night off, those instructions get a little looser and the check-ins all but disappear. Case in point: recently, one mom left her children's babysitter a hilarious note that was both brutally honest and laugh-out-loud funny — and it may even inspire other parents to turn their babysitter notes into a form of comedic relief.
Parents can thank photographer and director Malik Brazile for the inspiration. On Thursday, he uploaded pictures of a babysitting note his girlfriend — who was caring for one mom's children that night — sent his way. The note outlines 10 "Rules & Tips" for her to follow while caring for the kids, with zero mention of non-GMO apple snacks or homework to be completed.
As one Twitter commenter mentioned: "This perspective comes from a mom who's been a babysitter. She knows what time it is." And it's time for a lot of TV watching, some pizza, and maybe just a bit of candy.
Here are just a few of the top rules and tips on the list.
Unlimited Screen Time
"I encourage the kids to watch as much TV as possible, so they will leave me the hell alone," the mom wrote. "Feel free to do the same."
Don't Answer The Door If You Know What's Good For You
"If any of my neighbors come to the door, treat them like Jehovah's Witness's," the note read. "Don't lend them any eggs/milk/cigarettes. They know where the store is. And no, you don't want to baby-sit for them."
Hook A Girl Up
"If you have any boys over, just make sure they have an uncle/dad/brother/friend I can call later," the note stipulates.
There's A Reason We Have Cell Phones
My personal favorite? "Don't answer the house phone unless you feel like paying bills."
Let Them Eat Cake — & Candy
"Let the kids have as much sugar as they want, as long as they will go away," the mom wrote. "They take pills to sleep anyway."
Make Yourself Useful
"If you look through my drawers, please throw away any overdue bills and gum wrappers," the mom instructed.
Last But Not Least
Our kids are all kind, sweet-hearted angels that speak nothing but the truth, of course — but this mom still had some pretty solid advice for her babysitter. "Don't believe ANYTHING the kids tell you," she recommended.
This mom clearly knows how to give her babysitters a good laugh at the beginning of the night, and it sounds like she probably babysat a few children herself back in the day. Judging by how real she was willing to be about caring for kids, something tells me she probably left her babysitter a pretty generous bonus, too.