Endless piles of laundry, chasing after toddlers, trying to find quality time with your partner, chauffeuring the kids around town, cooking healthy meals that everyone will actually eat. Yeah, motherhood can hard. In fact, no one prepares you for how hard it really is, and there's no way to imagine it until you're in the thick of it. And now one Colorado mom's viral PSA is reminding parents it's OK to ask for help.
On Oct. 17, Kimberly Adams, owner and founder of Northern Colorado Moms Blog, took to the organization's Facebook page to share that she's in "the hardest season" of her life. Adams didn't elaborate on any specific details, but she dive deep when discussing what happened after she dared to reach out for support. And yes, it can take a lot of courage to ask for help.
"I am currently walking through the hardest season of my life, and as Mama’s we feel like we’ve always gotta put on our big girl pants and just muscle through," she wrote in her post. "Never let ‘em see you sweat, right? Oh girl...if there’s one thing this season has taught me, it’s that that sort of lie is terribly dangerous to believe."
A dangerous lie, indeed. And after calling her friend for what she assumed would be a vent session, Adams surprised herself by telling her friend she "didn't want to be alone." The friend responded by suggesting she come over, but Adams found herself rattling off a long list of common excuses, like the fact that her house was a "disaster."
As for Adams' friend? She's a total superhero and brushed off Adams' protests. "Not only did she make the trek from Greeley to Fort Collins, but she picked up another sweet friend along the way," she said. "They picked up lunch, they walked into my house, gave me the biggest hugs, and asked 'What can we do?'...I. Wasn’t. Alone."
Adams' friends cleaned her house, let her cry, and they spent time listening to music. You know, friend stuff. And the lovely experience inspired Adams to share an important message with followers, writing, "Mama, if you’re going through a rough season...know that you don’t have to do it by yourself. You don’t even have to know what you need — just start by asking to not be alone."
It's safe to say that her post has definitely touch a nerve, with moms from every walk of life saying, "been there!" And with over 32,000 responses and 59,000 likes as of Tuesday, Adams said it's been impossible to keep up with all the kind words but appreciates them all. There are a few comments from moms who say they don't have the kind of "drop everything friends" to which Adam speaks of, but others jumped in to help out virtual friends in need.
"Those comments are completely heartbreaking to read. The beautiful thing that’s happening though, are strangers responding to say 'Can I send you a friend request?' I will be this person for you,' or standing in solidarity with them by sharing a similar experience and/or encouraging words," Adams tells Romper via email.
Of course, Adams is aware it's not always easy to reach out when needed. "Directly asking for help is not easy, and truthfully, I sourced some of this advice from my group of friends because we have all struggled to do this in one way or another," she explains to Romper.
She continues, "First, and maybe most importantly, know that your first vulnerable step doesn't have to be a big one, but you must take it. Buy the ticket to the sign-making event you see posted on Facebook, go try a new workout class that you've been wanting to check out, plug into a MOPS group or bible study...start small and take baby steps!"
Once you get over the hurdle of asking for help, there's a good chance your world will be better for it. That's because, as Adams notes, "anxiety, loneliness, and depression" can "grow" in "isolation."
"We must show up for one another. We must be kind to ourselves. And we must continue to spread the message that it's okay not to be okay - you're not in this alone," she reiterates to Romper.
As the old saying goes, it takes a village not only to raise the kids, but to support the people who do. So here's to Adams for her raw and honest post, as it most certainly helped other parents in similar positions.