Rachel Bilson's Parenting Instagrams Show What It's Like To Raise Darth Vader's Daughter
One of the most enduringly intriguing aspects of the Star Wars franchise is how there can be so many unanswered questions left after seven movies (there are novels that round things out, but they officially don't count anymore). We all saw how Anakin and Luke Skywalker were raised, and soon, we'll get a glimpse of Han Solo's teenage years. But what about Leia? We know she was raised as the princess of Alderaan, and eventually served as an Imperial senator, then general of the Resistance. But what was her childhood like? Luckily, Rachel Bilson's parenting Instagrams of Darth Vader's daughter fill in the blanks quite nicely.
Stay with me, here. While Rachel Bilson, the actress known for Hart of Dixie and The O.C., isn't actually Padmé Amidala, and her daughter isn't really Leia Organa, there is one important similarity: Bilson's daughter Briar Rose Christensen's other parent, Hayden Christensen. Yes, her daddy is Anakin Skywalker, aka Darth Vader. Briar Rose is totally Leia-adjacent, and she's the best analog Star Wars fans have for the actual Force-sensitive, bun-wearing, ass-kicking woman herself. Unfortunately, the Padawan doesn't make many appearances in Mom's feed, but the rest of her posts offer plenty of clues into her parenting experience. Let's dig in:
The Family Is Team Sith
Briar Rose and her mom wear matching Darth Vader shoes. Not matching shoes sporting Good Guy Anakin, the Jedi who takes romantic strolls with his baby's mother while comparing her to sand. Nope, they prefer the evil cyborg version. Honestly, I'm 100 percent with them on that one.
...And Also Team Grover
I'm so happy to report that it looks like Bilson and her baby prefer our furry, lovable, old pal Grover over the grating, obnoxious Elmo, or as I like to call him, The Blight of Sesame Street.
The Padawan Is Being Raised With An Ewok
Odd choice, but whatever.
Dad Doesn't Always Wear The Mask
In this Father's Day shot, we can clearly see that Darth Vader doesn't always wear his mask, previously thought to provide skin protection as well as housing a breathing apparatus. Turns out it's more of a fashion thing, like Kylo Ren's mask. Lame.
Baby Vader Is Actually Really Considerate
Bilson posted this lovely sunrise with the caption, "What I woke up to this morning, the advantages of having a baby poop herself awake at 5 am." How thoughtful! I'd never get up early and soil myself just to give my mom a priceless memory; maybe I'm doing daughtering all wrong.
Mom & Baby Dig Animals
And I'm not talking banthas and womp rats. Bilson snuck in a casual #Cecil hashtag with this shot.
And I Mean REALLY Dig Them
In honor of World Elephant Day, a princess ballerina elephant, which is actually quite rare.
Briar Rose Will Tame Vader Yet
How did little Briar Rose convince a Sith Lord to do her bidding by entertaining her with bubbles? The Force is strong with this one.
This Baby Has Amazing Penmanship
Check out the banner she made for Bilson's birthday when she was only 10 months old! Impressive.
The Kid's Not Going Hungry
Bilson pumps while getting her hair and makeup done, just like Giselle Bündchen and probably you, too.
Mom Doesn't Want Other Kids To Be Hungry, Either
Here's Bilson with Kristen Bell, supporting No Kid Hungry, a charity that aims to end childhood hunger. Go, Mom!
Briar's Bibs Are Literally More Fashion-Forward Than Anything I Own
I mean, really.
Being The Daughter Of A Celeb Can Be Awkward
Do you think Briar Rose knows that not every dad is featured on a reusable Target shopping bag?
She's So Stylish, Her Mom Steals Her Accessories
Briar Doesn't Need The Force To Break The Vacuum
You can almost hear the vacuum squealing in this Easter Instagram.
These Toesies Are Legit
Yes, the clothing is nice and all, but check out the top right corner. Those toesies! So itty-bitty! So scrunchy!
For A 1-Year-Old, She's A Skilled Cake Decorator
A cake she made for Dad on his birthday: 10/10 would eat.
Mom Is Absolutely Bananas For Dad
When Bilson's not 'gramming about Briar Rose, she's sharing pics of her husband, or, on this occasion, a throwback shot of herself as a child, posing with wrapping paper that depicts the moment her future husband cut off his son's hand. She shared the photo on May 4, and epically captioned it, "May the 4th be with you #meanttobe."
Seems like raising a kid with Darth Vader isn't nearly as terrifying as you'd imagine. Maybe he just needed the right mother to do it with (sorry, Padmé).