Real Resolutions: B. S. On What They're Learning To Let Go Of In The New Year
January is a month filled with resolutions. On the first day of the month, as each of us wave goodbye to the previous year, we make way for all the things we plan to do once we have a fresh slate. We ask ourselves, What will I do better this year? How will I do better? What do I want to change about myself? About my behaviors? How can I improve? Resolutions made by women by and large get a bad rap. At face value, it's so easy to assume they'll all be the same: I'm going to lose weight!; I'm going to wake up earlier!; I'll travel! but if you take a look deeper, you'll notice just how raw and real resolutions made by women — especially moms — are. They're complex, multi-layered, and they're also incredibly honest.
Mothers aren't just making resolutions for themselves. They're constantly factoring in how the things they do and say and believe will shape and influence their children. Though moms are faced with these types of decisions day in and day out, the new year provides an opportunity to look at the year as a whole and to consider all the things they plan to change and improve on. For 2017, Romper spoke to 31 different moms all over the country in an effort to highlight just how diverse, bold, and exciting their resolutions are.
Name: B Sanders
City and state: Denver, Colorado
I want to model for my kid that it's OK not to be on your A game all the time — which means I need to be OK with not being on my A game all the time.
Occupation: Analyst in Public Education
How old are your kids?: 5 years old
What resolution do you think you're supposed to make? Why do you feel this way?: I should say I am going to work out more because I work out so sporadically. I always mean to go to the gym, but life is full, and I dislike exercise, so it's always the thing that ends up not happening enough even though it is a good thing to do.
What's your actual resolution this year, and why?: Be self-compassionate. I struggle with that. Missed deadlines eat at me; undone tasks niggle at me. I am bad at just sitting and relaxing. I want to model for my kid that it's OK not to be on your A game all the time — which means I need to be OK with not being on my A game all the time.
What's one thing in your life you want to change but don't feel like you can?: I wish I lived somewhere that had a more mild winter. Winters are hard on me. But I have friends where I live, and we're pretty settled here, and my family loves it here, so I roll with it. The winters here in Colorado are a pretty big step up from the ones in Michigan, where I lived before, at least.
What's one thing you did or didn't do last year that you forgive yourself for?: I spun my wheels in a demanding job that ate up too much of my time. I should have left it sooner than I did.
Do you tell your kids your resolution? Why or why not?: Nah. I have a love-hate relationship with resolutions. On the one hand, I like the crispness of them — it's such a clear line to start fresh. On the other hand, there is that pressure to be different and be more, and I don't want my son to feel that.
What specifically do you want for your kids this year?: I want my son to be able to keep using his preferred bathroom at school. I want him to be able to keep being him without Trump's presidency changing his life from the outside because he is trans.