Life

Courtesy of Karly Santiago

For This Mom, 2017 Is All About Being Confident

by Kylie McConville

January is a month filled with resolutions. On the first day of the month, as each of us wave goodbye to the previous year, we make way for all the things we plan to do once we have a fresh slate. We ask ourselves, What will I do better this year? How will I do better? What do I want to change about myself? About my behaviors? How can I improve? Resolutions made by women by and large get a bad rap. At face value, it's so easy to assume they'll all be the same: I'm going to lose weight!; I'm going to wake up earlier!; I'll travel! but if you take a look deeper, you'll notice just how raw and real resolutions made by women — especially moms — are. They're complex, multi-layered, and they're also incredibly honest.

Mothers aren't just making resolutions for themselves. They're constantly factoring in how the things they do and say and believe will shape and influence their children. Though moms are faced with these types of decisions day in and day out, the new year provides an opportunity to look at the year as a whole and to consider all the things they plan to change and improve on. For 2017, Romper spoke to 31 different moms all over the country in an effort to highlight just how diverse, bold, and exciting their resolutions are.

Courtesy of Karly Santiago

Name: Karly Santiago

Age: 33

City and state: Paramount, California

Occupation: Work-at-home mom and business owner of Cloth & Twig

How old are your kids?: 7 years old and 5 years old

My actual resolution is to just be more me — more confident in who I am as a woman, wife, mother, and business owner. I'm raising two young girls and I want my example to show them they can do whatever they set their minds to if they believe in themselves first.

What resolution do you think you're supposed to make? Why do you feel this way?: I feel like we're supposed to make resolutions in general. And it's always the usual: lose the baby weight, eat healthier, yell less, be more organized... I think those are all unrealistic things. Making resolutions is kind of the "thing" to do every year. Even though we know we'll say things we don't mean and make promises to ourselves that we won't keep, we feel like we have to say something.

What's your actual resolution this year, and why?: My actual resolution is to just be more me — more confident in who I am as a woman, wife, mother, and business owner. I'm raising two young girls and I want my example to show them they can do whatever they set their minds to if they believe in themselves first.

What's the one resolution you won't make again?: That I'll lose weight or "get my pre-baby body back." I don't ever want to put pressure on myself to go back to how I was before children. I am different now in spirit and mind and I have embraced that my body is also.

What's one thing in your life you want to change but don't feel like you can?: I don't feel that I have a good answer for this. I feel like I can change anything about my life if I tried hard enough, but there is nothing in my life that I want to change so badly that I don't feel I can.

What's one thing you did or didn't do last year that you forgive yourself for?: I feel like I constantly forgave myself for losing my cool with my spouse and my kids. I couldn't let myself fall into the hole of mom guilt or shaming myself into being a less-than mother. This job is hard and it weighs so heavy some days.

Do you tell your kids your resolution? Why or why not?: I normally don't. The age they are, I feel like I want to instill a lifestyle of confidence and good habits by my example. Successful resolutions are achieved by lots of hard work, not because we say one thing on January 1 and poof, it's magically done.

What specifically do you want for your kids this year?: I want my girls to see me as someone they want to be like. I want the relationship between us to grow stronger especially now that they're at an age with lots of questions and they're trying to actually understand the world. I want them to see the good in people and start to harness the magic that's inside of them.