Real Resolutions: Shelby M. Shares Why This Year Is All About Forgiveness
January is a month filled with resolutions. On the first day of the month, as each of us wave goodbye to the previous year, we make way for all the things we plan to do once we have a fresh slate. We ask ourselves, What will I do better this year? How will I do better? What do I want to change about myself? About my behaviors? How can I improve? Resolutions made by women by and large get a bad rap. At face value, it's so easy to assume they'll all be the same: I'm going to lose weight!; I'm going to wake up earlier!; I'll travel! but if you take a look deeper, you'll notice just how raw and real resolutions made by women — especially moms — are. They're complex, multi-layered, and they're also incredibly honest.
Mothers aren't just making resolutions for themselves. They're constantly factoring in how the things they do and say and believe will shape and influence their children. Though moms are faced with these types of decisions day in and day out, the new year provides an opportunity to look at the year as a whole and to consider all the things they plan to change and improve on. For 2017, Romper spoke to 31 different moms all over the country in an effort to highlight just how diverse, bold, and exciting their resolutions are.
Name: Shelby Malinowski
City and state: Houston, Texas
Occupation: Director of Training and Development
How old are your kids? 21 months old
What resolution do you think you're supposed to make? Why do you feel this way?: Now that I am a mom I feel like I am supposed to make one like having more patience, or something to the effect of being a better mom. But as a single mom I do the best I can each and every day. I challenge myself to be more patient, read more books to him, make healthier meals at home, etc.
What's your actual resolution this year, and why?: My resolution this year is to enjoy the little things and try to stress less.
I forgive myself for all the times I have been a so-called "bad mom." Being a mom is so demanding. It is impossible to live up to your own expectations, let alone the expectations of society.
What's the one resolution you won't make again?: I have made resolutions to diet or eat healthier (become vegetarian); these lasted all of a couple weeks. I will never make a resolution like this again because it really is not something that I was invested in or that was going to positively impact my life or the life of others. Also, they are drastic life changes that were not realistic and did not fit my lifestyle.
What's one thing in your life you want to change but don't feel like you can?: I would like to be able to take more time for myself. Being that my son and I made the big move from California to Texas with absolutely no family and no support system and money is tight I am unable to take time out for myself.
What's one thing you did or didn't do last year that you forgive yourself for?: I forgive myself for all the times I have been a so-called "bad mom." Being a mom is so demanding. It is impossible to live up to your own expectations, let alone the expectations of society.
Do you tell your kids your resolution? Why or why not?: My son is my old child and he's too young to understand, but I would tell him. When he's a little older I'd like to do a New Year's Wish with him. We'll write them down on New Year's Eve and put them in a bottle and the following New Year's Eve, we'll open it and see if our wishes came true.
What specifically do you want for your kids this year?: I want my son to be happy and healthy. I hope to be able to start him in some new activities.