I tried everything to achieve some level of heartburn relief during my pregnancy to no avail. My hyperemesis combined with crappy genetics meant that I was essentially a fire-breathing dragon for nine months without the benefit of an asbestos scale-lined throat. Making light of such a burning fire, I find consolation in humorous pursuits, like looking up cat videos or even these pregnancy heartburn memes that are arguably a better way to spend your time than railing at the universe for your misfortune.
I know that I'm far from the only person to suffer from heartburn during pregnancy. Seriously, there is always a heavily pregnant mama in the Tums aisle at Costco every time I shop, buying the really big jar while sipping water gingerly. The firey pain can get extreme, keeping you up nights and putting you off your dinner. The only thing left to do at the end of the day is to commiserate with other moms feeling the same pain, and hope that just a little bit of levity will help.
When it comes to memes, there's legit a meme for every purpose, from cowboy cats to plant lady gifs, and it wasn't hard to find a bunch of memes fit for the heartburn of pregnancy.
1. Oh, Hey Now
You knew it was coming. It was hiding somewhere in your stomach since you had the audacity to eat an orange 20 minutes ago. Then, it barrels up your throat like a rocket launcher and you are less than surprised.
2. Oh, Lucy
As the first openly-pregnant woman on television, Lucille Ball is all of us in this image. Her reactions are perfect. The way in which she emotes without words is utterly amazing.
3. The Cravings Are Real
OK, but to be fair, I was really hungry and Domino's has an app that will deliver the pizza right to me as I sit my bloated behind on the beach and read my book.
4. You're Going To Have The Hairiest Baby Ever
My grandmother-in-law told me day in and day out as she saw me grab for the Tums that my baby was going to have an abundance of black hair. She wasn't wrong. He was practically a tiny baby monkey with his hairy shoulders, ears, and the mop of hair on his head. And it turns out, this old wives' tale might have a grain of truth to it.
5. My Chest Is On Fire
This is an accurate representation of what it feels like to be nine months pregnant and decide to go to the chili pepper festival. If there was a way to spray a fire extinguisher down your throat, you'd do it. You know you would. Probably unsafe. But for a brief set of moments? Bliss.
6. Exactly Like This
Ever been punched in the throat? Me neither, but I have had heartburn while I was pregnant, and it's kinda the same thing. It got so bad that even breathing hurt. I imagine getting a throat punch feels the same way much in the same way that a boob punch feels like mastitis. You don't know for sure, but you're pretty sure.
7. I Don't Even Know What This Is, But I Feel It Deeply
This sums pregnancy up nicely, doesn't it? A firey explosion constricting around your esophagus while ripping you open. Yup. Heartburn during pregnancy is exactly as depicted. Well done, artist who had no idea it would be meme'd.
8. I'm Basically A Sideshow Attraction
I even have tattoos. If I can survive pregnancy, I could surely become a sword swallower since spitting flames is already in my repertoire. I just need a carnival barker, cool outfit, and, you know, the sword.
I already live close to Coney Island, so I have some experience with this sort of thing. And by experience, I mean I've gone to Coney Island, eaten a funnel cake, and then whined about how bad the burning was. But it was a funnel cake — worth it.
9. Forget Mother of Dragons, I Am The Dragon
All I need is a braided blonde to be my mother and send me into battle after an army of the icy undead. At least when you are the dragon and not the mother of dragons, there's no weird familial relations. Thank heavens for small favors.
10. Babies Are Vampires
Think about it, unborn babies are totally just adorable vampires. They live completely off what you can give them through your blood, never go out into the sunlight, keep very strange hours, and make your throat hurt something fierce. It's science.