Good news, everyone! If you've been itching for the appropriate way to respond when your worst enemy gets pregnant, I'm happy to tell you that the wait is over. Or, if perhaps you've been dying for a delightful yet ~slightly~ mean-spirited trick to play on a friend or loved one who has a rock-solid sense of humor, then you're in luck too. You know those greeting cards that play music? Like all of these cards or even this one in particular (ahem, my birthday is in July, guys)? Two California brothers have taken that idea and put an evil, evil spin on it with their practical joke greeting cards.

Travis and Nick Peterson of the aptly named Joker Greeting are calling them The Best Prank Cards Ever. I'm going to have to agree with that title. Are you sitting? Their cards make noise for three. whole. hours. Not only that, but when you try to stop them, they get louder. It's funny enough if you can imagine this shenanigan going down with a birthday card, or a congratulations card, both of which make cheerful sounds. But, they really take it to the next level when it comes to the Joker Baby Shower Card.

You guys, it cries at you. For three hours. It's like the card's teething or has colic or something.

I've got to hand it to these Petersons, this is definitely a step ahead of all the other jokes we often hear at baby showers, like "Better get your sleep now!" and "Don't worry, you'll feel like yourself again in eighteen or so years!" It also sounds way more painful than that game where you have to identify what kind of candy bars are smeared in diapers. Parents like to tell other parents what to expect when a new baby arrives, but these cards actually show what it's like. The only way they stop making noise is when the battery dies, or the card is destroyed (which is a really dark metaphor if you think about it, and now I can actual feel myself slipping into a deep cloud of sadness).

On a lighter note, some of them also spray the recipient with glitter! That's cool!

I don't currently have a list of enemies, but I'm thinking it's maybe time to start one. Side note: Does anyone happen to know the birthday of a certain presidential candidate with terrible hair...?

Wait, that wasn't very nice. Perhaps I'll send this one instead...

That'll do it.

Image: Harald Groven/Flickr