Look, 2017 has been rough on all of us. It makes sense that some people are having trouble throwing themselves whole-heartedly into the holiday season. But if you've yet to summon up any Christmas cheer, you need to read this 6-year-old skeptic's letter to Santa. Good lord, will it make you believe in magic — at least that particular magic that happens when a kid inadvertently creates a more perfect piece of comedy than an adult ever could.
On Sunday, Twitter user Sarah McCammon posted a picture of her son's school assignment. The teacher had asked the class to write letters to Santa, and apparently, this particular little boy was not in the mood. His assignment started off traditionally enough, with the typical "Dear Santa," but in the body of the letter, things got real:
Santa Im only doing this for the class. I know your notty list is emty. And your good list is emty. and your life is empty. You dont know the trouble Ive had in my life. Good bye.
He used "love" as a sign-off, but in one final act of rebellion (or maybe self-protection, in case St. Nick actually is keeping a "notty" list?), he wrote, "Im not telling you my name" in the slot where he was supposed to sign the letter.
Making an already-perfect thing even better? He decorated the sheet with drawings of wreaths on one side, and skulls on the other! Skulls! For Christmas! This kid is my hero.
By the way, lest you be concerned about the "troubles" in his life, don't worry — his mother followed up with another tweet to explain that those troubles were basically just having to deal with his brother.
Needless to say, the internet is losing its mind over this letter. Sure, it's all well and good to read an adorable, earnest plea asking for a Hatchimal or an inexplicably-popular Fingerling monkey toy, filled with copious misspellings and professing true belief in Santa's powers. And yeah, yeah, yeah, the letter from 8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon asking the editor of The New York Sun if Santa really existed back in 1897 — which inspired the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" editorial (plus a TV movie, and a play, and more) — is a classic.
But it turns out that what the world wants right about now is a healthy dose of skepticism and drama. In 2017, we worship shade. Screw blind belief. No more asking an old man for favors. YOU DONT KNOW THE TROUBLE IVE HAD IN MY LIFE.
Turns out that plenty of people were eager to share their experiences of kids not exactly buying into the whole Santa story, or not buying into class assignments in general, and there were lots of gems:
Hey, maybe this letter will prompt Santa to take a good look at his life. When's the last time he and Mrs. Claus went on a vacation? Can he make a difference, and stop the bullying among his reindeer? Is he paying his elves a fair living wage? (Um, is he paying them at all? Elves have to eat, too! Sometimes they might even want to save enough money to go to dental school, Santa!)
There are still a few weeks left before Christmas, but honestly, this letter is probably the best present I could have asked for. Now, I'm going to go read it again so, as our anonymous letter-writer puts it, "Good bye."
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