Season 2 of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt finds its heroine slightly better adjusted to non-captive life than in Season 1, but the show's other characters begin to mature during the second season, as well. Titus Andromedon, Kimmy's friend and roommate, finally breaks free from his cycle of meaningless hookups and starts to give one special guy a real chance, with real dates and everything! Once he settles into a committed relationship, Titus starts to open up to the idea of kids, and, the truth is, Titus Andromedon would be a great dad!
In one episode in Season 2, Titus runs into a tween named Tyler at a movie theater who solicits his help in buying tickets to an R-rated movie. Titus has just come from participating in a medical trial where his clothes have been stolen, requiring him to don a respectable looking blazer and sweater vest out of the hospital lost and found. Titus looks positively paternal in the new look, and Tyler picks up on his dad-vibes.
Titus, taking pity on the kid who doesn't have much of a father figure in his life, starts dispensing the usual dad advice, like how to dress when you like a girl, and how to know when the time is right to kiss her. In spite of the fact that Tyler, like most kids when they don't get their way, turns on Papa Andromedon when the dates goes south, Titus can't shake the warm, fuzzy feeling of being needed, worshiped, and respected by a tiny human with a sponge-like brain.
He starts to seriously consider, thanks to a heart-to-heart with Lillian, life with Mikey as settled down, married dads. Here are five reasons why that dream should totally become reality:
When we see Titus acting as Tyler's surrogate dad, he teaches him about such cinematic masterpieces as Britney Spears' Crossroads. Coupled with the fact that earlier in Season 2 Titus tries to teach Lillian about the Great American Songbook, it's clear that he has a wealth of cultural knowledge to bestow upon a tiny Titus.
2He Gives Solid Fashion Advice
Titus helps Tyler pick out a sharp gingham button down and tie look when he's feeling nervous for his date, which suggests that any Andromedon offspring is headed for Instagram baby fame.
3He Gives Great Dating Advice
In spite of the fact that Titus is gay, and he's attempting to dispense advice on dating straight women to Tyler, he actually manages to give some pretty good tips for dating teenage girls. Like, for example, "Never buy them a cellphone case. They are very particular. You will not be right." Word.
Yes, Titus occasionally veers off into self-centeredness that eclipses any possible consideration for other people. But when folks appreciate his perspective, Titus is all too happy to continue imparting his wisdom upon them! Take his relationship with Kimmy — he may not always have the most selfless ideas, but he does care deeply about her well-being and is (generally) trying to help her acclimate to life outside the bunker.
In spite of his difficult lesson in cultural appropriation this season — after he writes a one-man show about a Geisha he claimed to be in a past life — Titus would do a great job as a black, gay dad raising a socially aware kid. He routinely calls Kimmy out on her subconscious racial micro-aggressions. Plus, he values the struggle to embrace identity, as a person who ran away from his oppressive hometown to live more authentically in New York. We can assume his kid would would also absorb some of those lessons, too, though having strong ladies like Kimmy and Lillian around to cultivate healthy intersectional feminism wouldn't be a bad idea, either.