It's been two weeks since the helicopter crash that killed NBA legend Kobe Bryant and his daughter "Gigi," along with seven others, shocked the world and forever changed the lives of the victims' families. While she has posted a number of times since their sudden deaths last month, Vanessa Bryant opened up about grieving Kobe and Gianna and the complicated emotions she's coping with right now.
On Monday, Feb. 10, Vanessa shared an emotional, heartbreaking update on Instagram about how she's coping with the unimaginable loss of her husband and 13-year-old daughter. "I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time," she captioned a video featuring Gigi and Kobe in their element. "It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong."
In addition to her utter disbelief at her new reality, Bryant shared another emotion bubbling just under the surface in the wake of Kobe and Gigi's deaths: anger. "Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live," she wrote. "Then I realize I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters. Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri."
Bryant ended her post by acknowledging she's aware this is all part of the grieving process, not that it makes it any easier, of course. "God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over," she wrote. "Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all."
Once again, Bryant's followers were there to offer words of validation and support. One Instagram user wrote, "Joy for life and grief for loss can exist together. You are doing what is real and a journey for you. There’s no defining this, no right or wrong way. Thinking of you daily my friend here for you always."
Another person commented, "... You have every right to feel everything you feel and grieve however you need to. You continue to inspire with your strength as [a]mother and show the light in all you do."
Meanwhile, Cindy Crawford wrote, "A mother’s love and strength knows no bounds. Sending prayers for you all."
Two days prior, Vanessa shared a video of her youngest daughter, 7-month-old Capri, learning how to stand with help. "Good girl, sunshine. I love you," the doting mama tells her smiley infant daughter in the clip. “Do this again. Try it again, mama." Alongside the Instagram video, Vanessa wrote, "My Koko Bean. She looks just like my Gigi with her daddy’s eyes."
I can't even begin to understand what the Bryant family is feeling as their new reality — a life without Kobe and Gianna — begins to fully sink in. And my mama's heart aches for Vanessa especially.