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Vanessa Shares Concerns With Nick’s Mom On ‘The Bachelor’ & It's Intense

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The whole Viall clan (or, most of them, anyway) travel to Finland for The Bachelor's season finale to meet Nick's final two choices before he proposes. Both Raven and Vanessa have the customary heart-to-heart conversations with Nick's parents, but Vanessa shares concerns with Nick's mom on The Bachelor, and it's a heavier conversation that the usual pre-engagement one-on-one talk.

After driving Nick's dad to tears (literally) asking him if he believes love is enough to sustain a relationship, Vanessa cornered Nick's mom for some equally intense questioning. She really flipped the script on the usual parents-grilling-potential-daughter-in-law thing. But Vanessa had deep concerns for her relationship with Nick and, in lieu of Nick addressing her questions, she went to the people who knew him best.

She asked Nick's mom if she thought Nick was rushing into a possible engagement, just to put his rocky Bachelorette past behind him.

Said Vanessa:

I love your son. I have never felt like this for anyone and I have never been in the position where I could almost be engaged and proposed to. So, for me, this is a very big deal. And I can't picture myself not ending up with Nick, it just doesn't make sense to me. But do you think that it's normal that I can't sit here and say that I 100 percent am ready to be engaged at the end of this?

Although she was clearly initially shocked by the question, Nick's mom kept it together and gently asked Vanessa to clarify.

Vanessa continued:

I want to end up with Nick, but my thought of being engaged was you get engaged once, and then that's a step towards marriage, and that's where that chapter ends. But I guess I'm just afraid of like, what if we're not ready for the next chapter of that? What if there's still so much for us to learn about each other?

It sounds like Vanessa takes the whole "I only want to be married once" thing and extends it to only wanting to get engaged once. Unfortunately, Nick is making it difficult for her to lean into their relationship all the way. Some degree of being noncommittal in the final moments of The Bachelor is normal — there are two women and both of them need to believe that they have a shot. And Vanessa does sometimes seem to be demanding a guarantee that she gets picked. But Nick also seems to be struggling with finding the middle ground between guarantees and vulnerability.

For her part, Nick's mom told Vanessa that she hopes Vanessa gets the answers to her questions, which was honestly the most supportive answer Vanessa has gotten all season. We'll soon find out whether her risks are worth it.