Thursday morning's full "Sturgeon" moon and partial lunar eclipse weren't actually noticeable to the naked eye, but does that mean they didn't effect us at all? Some people certainly think they did. After all, everybody knows that the full moon makes people drive like idiots, and turns Professor Remus Lupin into a werewolf. But what do the full moon and lunar eclipse mean for moms? Let's investigate.

According to Hello Giggles, the moon will bring both change and chaos, which they say is a sign that we should all start a new self-care ritual. Refinery 29 reported that this moon ushers in a time that's "all about laying the groundwork for things to come." They urge readers complete whatever tasks they've been putting off, as it will all be worth it in the end. You know what? I believe that! I am a master procrastinator (as an example: I still haven't fully moved into my new car, and I've had it for 19 months), and every time I've finally addressed something I've been ignoring, it has been a relief. But that still doesn't address my mom concerns, now does it? It's time to dig deeper into the world of astrology.

Buy A Backpack


"New discoveries and relationships will send you on a special mission to find plans for a brighter future," proclaims Aww yeah, moms! The kids will be forming new relationships with their teachers, because it's back to school time. They're the state's problem now!

Expect More Tantrums, Maybe?


Personality traits are heightened on full moon days, according to the Spiritual Science Research Foundation (which is currently running a sale on incense). Writers will write more, alcoholics will drink more, and toddlers will demand more screen time and cookies, which is what they do every day, so there's actually no change there.

Pregnant? Just Stay In Bed All Day


While acknowledging that there's no proof that "walk[ing] in the open air" during a lunar eclipse leads to birth defects, the Ayur Mantra natural healing blog cautions that "the fear of giving birth to an abnormal child can cause abnormalities in the child," so if you do believe the an eclipse can harm your fetus (which you shouldn't), it's best to "take precautions," which I interpret as telling your boss and spouse that you really need to stay in bed watching Netflix all day, "for the baby."

Send The Kids To Grandma's


The Mind Unleashed agrees with Hello Giggles on that self-care thing, stressing that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself, and that a lunar eclipse means it's "time for you to love yourself unconditionally." Moms of teens can run off to a spa; anyone with younger kids should dump them off on the nearest living relative and spend the day in the bathtub eating ice cream.

Expect To Go Out, Then Back In


The Heartmath Institute is quick to point out that the moon affects the tide, and our bodies are approximately 70 percent water. I assume this means we'll all go out, then back in about six hours later, and repeat. Moms will need to pack plenty of snacks, because you know how kids are in the car. Good luck!