When President-elect Donald Trump promised to "drain the swamp" in Washington, his supporters assumed that he meant he would root out corruption among politicians. It now appears that his real plan was to dismantle the U.S. government and install a plutocracy, because the Trump Cabinet's collective net worth is well over $11 billion and counting. That's four times more than Oprah Winfrey, and 39 times more than the entire Kardashian-Jenner family combined. It's enough to buy about 500 private islands. It's too damn much, is what I'm getting at.
Trump's Cabinet is now nearly complete; he only has to choose his Veterans' Affairs and Agriculture secretaries. In addition to Trump and Vice President-elect Mike Pence, the Cabinet will include Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions as the Attorney General. Gen. James Mattis will head Defense; Rex Tillerson, the State Department; Steven Mnuchin, the Treasury; Wilbur Ross, Commerce; Andy Puzder, Labor; Dr. Tom Price, Health and Human Services; Dr. Ben Carson, Housing and Urban Development; Elaine Chao, Transportation; Texas Gov. Rick Perry, Energy; Betsy DeVos, Education; Gen. John F. Kelly, Homeland Security; and Montana Rep. Ryan Zinke, the Interior. I was able to find the net worth of all but three of them via the Boston Globe, Forbes, Ballotpedia, The Washington Post, the Center for Responsive Politics, and North Carolina's ABC-11.
All in all, the Cabinet includes three billionaires: Trump, DeVos, and Ross, whose net worths are $3.7 billion, $5.1 billion, and $2.5 billion, respectively. Most of the remainders are millionaires, by a broad margin; Zinke is worth just $1,407,503, while Tillerson is worth $287.5 million. Pence is actually the "poorest" of the Cabinet so far, with an estimated net worth of $211,000.
There was no hard data available for Pudzer, Kelly, or Mattis' net worth, but it's safe to assume that they're not going hungry. Puzder is the chief executive of CKE Restaurants, the parent company of Hardee's and Carl's Jr., and in the past he's pulled in anywhere from $4 million to $10 million per year. It's safe to assume he kept some in the bank. Vanity Fair estimated that Kelly has between $1 million and $5 million in "investible assets," and the International Business Times has reported that in the last three years, Mattis received $1,494,369 from defense contractor General Dynamics. Don't worry, working class Americans, you don't have to fear the big, bad politicians anymore. These everyday millionaires and billionaires are sure to have your best interests at heart.