My mother used to comfort me by saying, "every thing has its season." Following that logic, it's normal for things to come to an eventual end. Even if that's all true, it doesn't necessarily make that realization any easier to accept. That's why it can be difficult to figure out what to do if you think your marriage is over. Though people traditionally include, "until death do us part," in their wedding vows, that's not always the reality of the situation. So what do you do when you've found yourself at the crossroads on your committed relationship?
Whether you choose to try and make things work or you know it's time to close the book on your marriage, it seems that trapping yourself in a state of limbo is the last thing you should do in this type of scenario. Therapist Susan Pease Gadoua told Psychology Today that when it comes to deciding if your marriage is over, "staying in indecision — regardless of what the indecision is about — is draining." Whichever path you end up choosing will still have its highs and lows, but at least you will be moving forward.
One of the easiest ways to put an end to your indecision is to look beyond your actions and find the underlying motivation. As therapist and family studies expert Dr. Williah Doherty told Oprah, "to tell the difference between nurturing your interests and moving out of your marriage, examine how you talk about your activities." Doherty further explained that if you find yourself never feeling satisfied, then your hobbies might just be a band-aid for the wound a negligent partner has left behind.
But, if you aren't ready to thrown in the towel just yet, you do have options. As relationship expert Mort Fertel told The Huffington Post, "a broken marriage needs leadership." So what exactly does leadership look like in terms of mending a relationship? Fertel noted, "marriages change not because of what people say or how well they listen; marriages change because of what people do.” So regardless of which route you choose, it appears the experts agree that taking some form of action is the most helpful step to take.