14 Clever Things To Write In A Kid's Birthday Card, Because You're Truly Stumped

It's always tough to come up with something witty to write in a birthday card, especially if it's for a kids birthday. Half the time they don't even read the card, either because they don't know how to read or because all they're interested in is the gift. Even still, it's important to a lot of people, including yourself, to come up with a funny birthday card message that the kid will actually find amusing.

For tots, you can make fun of the fact that the kid isn't even old enough to be able to read the card — it'll surely give the adults a good laugh, and let's be honest, they're the ones that really care what the card says anyway. And for older kids, sarcasm and puns can be home runs. Just make sure that you keep it short and sweet, because kids have priorities and that priority is to get to whatever is under that wrapped box.

If you're really creative, you can also make the card interactive. Draw a cool illustration for them to color in, sketch a simple maze (or print one out and paste it in) for them to do, or turn the card into a map for a scavenger hunt that they need to complete to find their gift.

Either way, you can't go wrong with these clever messages to write in a kid's birthday card.


"You Can't Even Read This, But Happy Birthday"

Just state the facts. If it's a young kid's birthday party, they probably haven't mastered their reading skills yet. So, it doesn't really matter what you write in their card but the least you can do is wish them a happy birthday.


"Don't Grow Up Too Fast"

Sure, it's important that kids mature, but it's also important that they remember to have a blast and to take advantage of this short period when they don't have to worry about things like going to work and paying for phone bills.


"You Aren't Just 3 years old, You are 1095 days old"

Here's a fun little fact that will blow their little mind. Calculate, to the day, how long they've been alive, and they won't be able to stop themselves from telling everyone all night.


"You Are My Favorite Human Bean"

Even kids love puns. Pair this phrase with a drawing of a cute little bean. Add some googly eyes for a special effect.


"As Tradition Goes, Here Is A Card"

Here's a sassy phrase to write in the card. You're acknowledging how silly cards can be if you don't make the effort to write something truly meaningful, but also totally giving in to tradition.


"You Are The Best Decision Your Parents Ever Made"

This one is as much for the parents as it is for the kid.


"Lets Party Like The Milk Is Endless"

This is a hilarious card for a 1-year-old who's surely on a milk-heavy diet. As the kids get older, you can tweak it so that it's a little more age-appropriate: Let's party like the juice is endless.


"You Don't Look A Day Older Than Your Actual Age"

Kids, more than anyone else, wear their age with pride.


"Wow, You Doubled In Size This Year"

Kids love hearing about how much they've grown, and they really do grow exponentially fast — they're like life-sized Chia pets.


"Happy Birthday To The World's Greatest Farter"

Kids, well, they fart, and they don't hide it like adults do. So let them know that you think their farts are the greatest. This card will make all the kids laugh.


"10 Years Of Being A Legend"

You can replace that number with their age. They'll love getting this compliment, no matter how old they are.


"Sorry I Didn't Get You A Pony"

Kids really do have a tendency to ask for the most unrealistic gifts, don't they? The adults will definitely get a kick out of this card... Hopefully you did deliver a pretty impressive gift anyway though, because you don't want to disappoint them too much.


"Heres A Map To Find The Hidden Treasure, Or Your Birthday Gift"

If you write this phrase, you better be prepared to make an accompanying map with it, no matter how simple. And if you do pull this off, you're guaranteed to be the coolest adult in the birthday kid's eyes.


"Stay Weird"

Kids are weird, silly, and full of imagination. Remind them that not only is it okay to be a little bit different and unique, but that it's totally encouraged.