You often read about moms-to-be not wanting sex. It's widely known that being pregnant is utterly exhausting, as growing a human being is really hard on a woman's body. Throw in some haywire hormones, and you have a recipe for a total libido tanking. But what about the male partners? What if they're not interested in sex as much or can't orgasm? It's certainly a less talked about issue, but one that deserves attention. Some women noticing a change in their partner's orgasms (or lack of) may wonder why don't some guys finish during pregnancy sex? Is it just their man, or others too? Rest assured, it's pretty common and it's probably nothing you're doing in particular.
Technically, any problem in the sexual response cycle (excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution), is considered a sexual dysfunction, according to Web MD. The same site noted that sexual dysfunctions are fairly common, with 31 percent of men report having some issues. There are plenty of treatments on the market for men with sexual issues (you've no doubt seen the commercials), but going the medical route might not be necessary, yet.
Talking about why there might be an issue is a good first step. In exploring the possible issues, you may be able to make some immediate adjustments that could lead to more orgasms next time you try getting frisky. Here are seven reasons your guy might be having a hard time finishing now that you're pregnant.
1. They're Scared Of "Hitting" The Baby
For the record, a man's penis cannot poke a baby inside a pregnant woman. According to the Mayo Clinic, babies are surrounded by protective amniotic fluid as well as strong uterine muscles, which means an incoming penis won't hit them. If a guy is freaked out that he might "hit" the baby with his penis, he is obviously mentally stressed. And,as Web MD explained , when people are stressed, it can cause them to have
performance issues. Try having a doctor or trusted medical professional tell him that it's impossible to hit the baby to see if it helps him get over his fear.
2. They're Scared Of Hurting You
Some guys are worried that sex could hurt their pregnant partners or cause a miscarriage. This anxiety obviously makes it difficult for them to be "in the moment." As explained on Healthline, if a man is not relaxed during sex it may cause a decrease in libido and performance issues, like difficulties staying erect and having an orgasm.
You can try to take your man's mind off of his fears by massaging him or playing soft music. You could also try being very direct and tell your man the facts straight up: sex can't cause a miscarriage in a healthy pregnancy, according to Very Well. Additionally, sex is totally safe for most women all the way through the third trimester.
3. They Aren't Feeling The New Position
Pregnant women, especially further along in their pregnancy, may find that new or different sex positions work better for them. A new position may be perfect for the mom-to-be, but not for their partner. If a man isn't orgasming, it may be because he's not feeling the new position. The key to the big O for both partners is being vocal about what's working and what isn't.
4. They Are Turned Off By Your Pregnant Vagina Scent
According to the Health and Parenting website, 65 percent of pregnant women report that their vagina has an odor. You can thank hormones and their impact on a pregnant woman's blood supply for this. Miriam Greene, a clinical assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at New York University Langone Medical Center told Fit Pregnancy that the, "enhanced blood supply alters the pH balance," of your vagina and makes it smell gluey or doughy. If your man is turned off by this new scent, he might not be able to finish.
5. They're Not Attracted To You When You're Pregnant
This one is like daggers in the heart, but sadly it's a pretty common thing. Many women have reported in online threads that their male partners are not attracted to them during pregnancy. It's horrible to think about a man being grossed out by their pregnant partner, because ideally size and body changes shouldn't matter.
Couples facing this reality might need to find other ways to become intimate for a while like holding hands, talking about future hopes and dreams, or building something together like a shelf or the crib for the nursery. Therapy is also an option, especially if the mom-to-be is deeply wounded by her partner's feelings.
6. They Have A Hard Time Relating To You In Your New Role As Mother
Seeing a partner as a mother can really throw men through a loop and may impact sexual desire and performance. Dr. Lana Holstein, director of women's health at Arizona's Canyon Ranch Spa, and author, told She Knows that a man may find that "anticipating her as a mother puts her in a different category." She said it has a lot to do with how the man was raised and culturally, how he views sexuality.
7. They're Stressed About Becoming A Father
No doubt new parents are scared about becoming parents. They might be worrying about money, how much time they can devote to family, and whether or not they'll be a good mom or dad. Being a little freaked out about having a baby is totally normal. As mentioned previously, stress can really take a toll on someone's performance and could inhibit them from having an orgasm.
Speaking up about sexual issues is really important to finding a solution. Struggling with sex from time to time is OK and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Pregnancy brings about all types of changes to a couple's life, including in the sex department. Being proactive about resolving any issues that may crop up will be key to helping you stay close now and when the baby is born.